Humorous timber sale names

Larry Harrell fotoware at jps.net
Wed Aug 5 16:29:37 EST 1998


The USFS is known to have a sense of humor sometimes regarding timber sale
names. Here are some examples of sales that I have worked on or heard of:

Armageddon:  Now, here is a politically incorrect name in these days of
eco-activism
	         On this sale, we turned 4 planned clearcuts into 24 of them, but
all of 
                     them were under 4 acres. The "flower pot effect"
between the lava
                     reefs made this possible. The sale was in a group with
other sales
                     named Rapture and Tribulation, so, I am sure that
clears up some
                     questions you might have had about this one. <g>	

Insecta Correcta:
Pitchy Pasta:
Beetle Battle:
Bugs to Boot:
Braindead:      All of these were insect salvage sales (as you might have
guessed)

Outer Limits:   This one was a helicopter sale which had up to 3 mile
flight
                      distances, hence, the name.

Tinman:          This was a blowdown sale with included insect salvage that
went from
                      2.2 million board feet estimated up to 8 million when
finished due to 
                      inexperienced timber markers and cruisers plus
pressure from above 
                      to boost the volume. And the purchaser still
complained about the
                      marking on this incompletely marked sale. As Harvest
Inspector, I
                      was the most conservative marker out there strictly
following the EA
                      (Environmental Assessment) and leaving large snags,
as per the
                      contract. That really drew the ire of purchaser,
contractor, Sale 
                      Administator and others and is probably the reason I
am unemployed
                      now.

Bendover:        This name was on the books for several years for a sale
that was
                      near a place called Bendorf springs. The local timber
industry pushed
                      the USFS to put this sale up, despite the fact that
it was in an area
                      that required herbicides as post sale treatment for
bear clover, and at
                      that time, there was still a ban on USFS use of
herbicides. The
                      foresters thought it was a funny play on words but,
the name was
                      eventually changed to a more tame one 

Anyone else have some silly sale names? 



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