The International Assoc. of Web Foresters' Award

Joseph Zorzin redoak at
Mon Jun 22 13:21:48 EST 1998

I'm proud to announce that I received in the mail today a certificate
from The International Associaton of Web Foresters.

Which "presents this certificate to: Joseph Zorzin and is awarded
certification as webmaster forester.  Furether, he is given the honorary
degrees of BS,MS and PH.D. as determined by 'Big Tex", displayed in the
background of this certificate.  The Webmaster should be should be shown
all courtesy and honors attached to said degrees."

And signed by "Donald L. Staples, Texas Ranger and 'Big Tex' Scooper".

The back of the award says-
"Levels of degrees offered by the International Association of Web
Foresters: BS- Bull Shitter, MS- More Shit, Ph.D. Piled Higher and

Amazing but true, already today I've had 3 filthy rich yuppies from NYC
come by office, a stock broker, a lawyer, and an orthodontist. All 3,
when they saw my new award hanging over my desk, instantly retained me
as their consulting forester.

I have also made a photocopy, removed the gun rack from my truck, and
hung it up instead, to impress the loggers when I go out to supervise
their work.

This made my day. It's the first time in my 48 trips around the sun,
I've ever gotten any award. There is a God. And I expect Darrel Hannah
to be knocking on my office door any minute, as the final proof. <G>

I have also scanned it in and you can see it on my web at

Joseph Zorzin, Der Yankee Forestmeister
"Still, after a year, the only forestry web page in the otherwise
sophisticated state of Massachusetts"
"Opposite Trails", a book proposal by David Gafney, National Park
Service naturalist, forester, and environmental attorney about his
hiking and photographing the Appalachian Trail and Pacific Crest Trail
"In wilderness is the preservation of the world."
Henry David Thoreau

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