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When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he
began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his
friends in the evening.Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very
angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.One evening when Tom
came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at
Tom's clothes very carefully.Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my
ties, Tom?""Yes, Father, it is." answered Tom."And that shirt's mine too,
isn't that one of my ties, Tom?""Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom."And
you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard."Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom.
" You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
Two men, John and Jim, traveling through the country in America, stopped at
a small inn for dinner. On the table there was a large cup of mustard.
Thinking the contents were custard or a sweet of some kind, Jim took a
spoonful of it and put it in his mouth. Tears ran down his cheeks, but
wishing to have his friend John caught in the same trap, he said nothing of
the mistake he had made. The other man, seeing that his friend was crying,
said: "Listen, Jim, what are crying about?" "I was thinking of my father who
was hanged twenty years ago," Jim replied. Soon after, John took a spoonful
of the mustard, and as the tears started down his cheeks, Jim in his turn
said "What are you crying about?" "To think you were not hanged the same day
your father was." came the answer.
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