Humor: A young view on science...

Andrew Wagner afwagner at STUDENTS.WISC.EDU
Mon Jul 25 17:26:45 EST 1994

>The following is extracted, without permission, from the Boston Globe.
and then from the HUMOR listserv.  I thought this might prove to be a good
break in the day.  Enjoy and remember, as young, budding scientists, we all
thought this way once.

>"By Ben Stewart, Special to the Globe"
>Ben Stewart recently retired from teaching science to elementary school
>students at the Jefferson Elementary School in St. Louis.
>Take one class of elementary school students, mix it thoroughly with several
>pounds of scientific facts. Then shake it up with an examination and you have
>the perfect formula for instant "youngsterisms" about science.
>        -       -       -       -       -       -       -
>The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams,
>and class room discussions; most were from fifth- and sixth-graders. They
>illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the "most interesting information comes
>from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."
>-Question: What is one horsepower?
>Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse
>        500 feet in one second.
> -You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to
>getting hit.  If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
> -When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms.
>But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
> -When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy.  When
>planets do it we say they are orbiting.
> -While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it
>really only centrificating.
> -Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back
>into a sun in the daytime.
> -A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to
> -Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.
> -Vacuums are nothings.  We only mention them to let them know we know they're
> -Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun.  But I have never
>been able to make out the numbers.
> -We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation.  Evaporation gets
>blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
> -I am not sure how clouds get formed.  But the clouds know how to do it, and
>that is the important thing.
> -In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
> -Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
> -Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the
>strongest man.
> -Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
> -Isotherms and isobars are even more important that their names sound.
> -It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live
>other places.

*|                                                                        |*
*|   Andrew F. Wagner                           Elaine K. Prentice, RNC   |*
*|   afwagner at              eprentic at   |*
*|               University of Wisconsin Perinatal Research               |*
*|                          Meriter-Park Hospital                         |* 
*|   D-Chi, Saxophone,                                                    |*
*|   and other stuff...                                                   |*
*|   (Andy's "at work" signature)                                         |*
*|                                                                        |*

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