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Sir William Thompson was very deaf but he did not like people to know this.
One evening he had invited several friends to dinner, and while they were
sitting at the table, one of the friends told a funny story. Everyone
laughed, and Sir William, who had laughed as loud as anyone, said, "That was
a very funny joke, but I know a funnier one. Would you like to hear it?"
They all said they would, so Sir William began his story. When it ended,
everyone laughed louder than ever and Sir William smiled happily. But he
didn't know the reason for their laughter. He had told the very same story
that his friend had just told.
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking
around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the
ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out
of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice." The drunk looks around,
but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I
said before, there are no fish under the ice." The drunk looks all around,
high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one
more time to finish. Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice
interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!" The
drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do
you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?" "No", the voice
replied. "I am the manager of this hockey area!
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