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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his
paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the
owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work
and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told
him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.""That's wonderful," the
artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?""He was your doctor."
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly found himself surrounded by a
bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he said quietly
to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed." A ray of light fell from the sky and a
voice boomed out, "No, you are not screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet
and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you." So the explorer
picked up the stone and proceeded to bash the life out of the chief. He
stood above the lifeless body, breathing heavily, surrounded by 100 natives
with looks of shock on their faces. The voice boomed out again, "Okay, now
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