Scintific definitions

[Duncan Clark]

Hi Folks,

I thought that as it is close to Xmas one should have some amusement. I came
across the following on another labs wall some time ago. 

"It HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN....."	I haven't bothered to look up (or
				couldn't find) the original reference.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT...."	I think

"IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED 
THAT...."			A couple of other guys think so too

"OF GREAT THEORETICAL AND
PRACTICAL IMPORTANCE...."	Of interest to me

"UNUSUALLY HIGH PURITY...."	Composite unknown except for the 
				exaggerated claims of the supplier

"MISSING DATA....."		Specimens were ruined when they accidently
				fell on the floor

"HANDLED WITH EXTREME CARE 
DURING THE EXPERIMENTS...."	Not dropped on the floor

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"	Only the best results are presented

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE	As the results of the others made no sense
CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"	at all

"PRESUMABLY AT LONGER TIMES
THIS WOULD...."			I didn't take the time to find out

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN		The experiments didn't work out, but I 
POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE	figured I could get publicity
ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS"	

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE 		I might get around to writing them up
REPORTED AT A LATER DATE"	some time

"CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF	Probably wrong
MAGNITUDE"

"IT MIGHT BE ARGUED THAT"	Since I have such a good answer for this
				objection I shall raise it now

"IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH
ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE
REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE
UNDERSTANDING"			I don't understand this

"IT IS HOPED THAT THIS WORK
WILL STIMULATE FURTHER WORK	This paper is no good, but neither are the 
IN THIS FIELD"			others on this miserable subject

"THANKS ARE DUE TO JOHN DOE	Doe did the work and Glotz explianed it to me
FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE
EXPERIMENTS AND MARY GLOTZ
FOR THE VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS"



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Duncan Clark                        | Internet:    duncan at genesys.demon.co.uk
GeneSys Ltd.                        | Compuserve:  100015.1406 at compuserve.com
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