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Little Johnny came home early from school and started calling his mother
with no answer. He finally went up stairs and saw the bedroom door was open
a little. When he peered in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid so he
quietly went outside and waited for his mother. When she showed up with some
groceries, he said "Mommy, Mommy guess what I saw? I saw daddy upstairs on
the bed with the maid and they were......." and his Mother said, "Stop right
there, Johnny". Wait until supper tonight when the maid is serving the meal.
When I wink at you, then tell me the story." At supper when all were seated
and being served by the maid, she winked and Johnny began again. "Mommy,
When I got home from school early today, I was looking for you and saw daddy
on the bed with the maid. They were doing the same thing that I saw you and
Uncle Phil doing at the cottage last summer."
A woman went into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's
funeral. She told the director that she wanted her husband to be buried in a
dark blue suit. He asked, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him in the
black suit that he's wearing?""No," she insisted as she handed him a check
to buy a dark blue suit. "It must be blue."When she came back for the wake,
she saw her husband in the coffin, and he was wearing a beautiful blue suit.
She told the director how much she loved the suit and asked how much it
cost. He said, "Actually, it didn't cost anything. The funniest thing
happened. As soon as you left, another corpse was brought in wearing a blue
suit. I noticed that they were about the same size, and asked the other
widow if she would mind if her husband were buried in a black suit. She said
that was fine with her, so I switched the heads."
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