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kkollins at pop3.concentric.net
kkollins at pop3.concentric.net
Fri Nov 6 01:50:52 EST 1998
kkollins at pop3.concentric.net wrote:
> [...] If you want to go a bit further, study the timing of the Fed's moves
> with respect to volume figures (and other things, if you've access to them).
> It's all simple Thermodynamics. Sorrowfully. ken collins
See what I mean?
What's going on? We'll have to take a "curved" route to understanding... in the Spirit of
J. Burke's column, "Connections", in _Scientific American_.
The main "problem" I'm working on is that "Powerful" folks are terrifcally-"frightened"
of the Truth Ive been laying at the feet of the Children, through their Parents,
Teachers, and folks of Good Will, everywhere, of course.
The Science =was= a Grind. Doing it nearly killed me, and it's not clear to me whether or
not I'll ever be able to "recover" from the "Heart-Ache" through which I had to
"travel"... to everyone other than me, it doesn't matter whether or not I do, because I
=will not= allow myself to Fail in the communication of NDT's Understanding... Period.
Allowing Failure would be to forsake Folks to the Ravaging of the "Beast". I =will not=
But, having, nearly two decades ago, resolved all this for myself, there was one big
problem remaining... the need to =Communicate= the Understanding. I began working toward
this end in the early 1970s, while still an undergrad. I worked "in private" because my
new field of endeavor was unfamiliar to me, and I wanted to overcome my Ignorance before
presuming to ask any of my Professors for the time that consideration of the "ECM-down"
Principle that I hit on in 1971. As I pondered the dynamics of Black Students having
"occupied" the Beveridge Center at Springfield College, into which I'd transferred from
Annapolis, the "Energy-Consumption=Minimization Principle (which is the Same-Stuff as the
TD E/I-Minimization Principle as it's discussed in AoK), just "jumped right out at" me,
because all of my prior existence was a "Love-Affair" with Physics... I just, literally,
saw the "potential-energy" diagrams everyone was "wearing". I was over-joyed, because I
=Knew= this insight could be one that'd make a difference.
The problem was, how to communicate the Physics to folks whose exposure to the
hard-Sciences and Mathematics was far from my own. I tried, but didn't get anywhere...
out of which, grew the realization that, "of course", the concepts =predicted= their own
"difficult birth"... my private-"war" with this one difficulty, and my "'gyrations' as
I've worked to "jump through all of its 'hoops'", is all that most folks "know" of me.
(For the =Last= time, =Everyone=, =don't= "be concerned" with respect to any "'negative'
reaction" you might have had with respect to all of this. It was just me, trying to teach
you the Understanding in any way that showed even the smallest promise. I knew what I was
doing :-) The burden was mine, through my own Free Will.)
Now, a moment that I've longed for ever since those undergrad years... it was my
Good-Fortune to become the student of one =Excellent= Professor, Dr. Henry Paar. Dr.
Paar, was not only an Excellent Teacher. He's an all-around-Excellent Human Being. He
Cared so much for his students, and =Believed= in them. It was serendipity. This,
so-extremely-rare stuff, that =this= Professor, Dr. Henry Paar, opened-up to me was the
fulcrum-point upon which the existence of NDT's stuff "teetered". I went to him in my
senior year, and asked him if he'd allow me to undertake a 6-credit independent study,
during which I'd write "a theory of personality". The Man didn't even flinch. He not only
gave me permission, he also, in his awesomely-rare-but-customary way, gave me =Solid=
Encouragement. I've always Loved Science, but I cannot say that if Dr. Paar hadn't taken
me "under his wing" so unreservedly, that I'd've continued developing the original
insights. As it was, the hours this Professor's "Bold Acceptance" opened-up to me, and
the Responsibility inherent in them, transformed me into one who =Knew= he had no right
to "quit". During those hours, "frolicking unencumbered in the meadow of thought", I
became Witness to the Terrible Suffering that blind Prejudice inflicts in Lives... and
that Knowing, has always been stronger than the "desire" to be free of the travail, even
during the "terrible times". I see all this as the Gift of a Teacher to a Student... that
Precious Gift that opens the door to what's possible. Of course, I'd been "prepared" by
all of my prior experience, of course, but here was a Professor... the very-Epitome of
what Professor-hood is, and can =always= be, but so-rarely is. (Forgive me all of this.
There's much more I'd like to say, but I've got to get on with tonight's discussion. In
my Longing, I'd imagined being able to Thus, Celebrate, Dr. Henry Paar, at graduation
ceremonies at Springfield. But I no longer expect such to happen... especially after
finishing this post... so this little Celebration will have to do.)
Dr. Paar, "You de Man!"
So, back to the one Big Problem... how to Communicate to folks that, with respect to
which, the way their nervous systems process information automatically "blinds" them. My
solution was to just keep trying... which is what folks've witnessed all these years...
just me, batting-down the throust of the Beast in any way that I could, in order to
Communicate tiny smidgeons of the whole... bit-by-bit, piece-by-piece, until the Gift of
Truth is passed on to those who so-Suffer in its absence.
I went on to gratuate studies... "non-degree-candidate" (funded by the G. I. Bill, as
were my post-Annapolis undergraduate years... there's another Thank You that's necessary,
and Just... the Legislators who made the G. I Bill possible, and the Taxpayers who funded
it, were with me all along... Thank You). In grad school, I just signed up for every
course that I thought could point me in any promising direction... I think I took only
one quiz... my G. I. Bill benefits would run out in a year, and, as hard as it might seem
to believe, I still did not have any awareness of "how easy" it was to get financial
aid... I was, then, already $10,000 in debt for loans I took out to pay for my undergrad
education (Springfield is a private college, and the G. I. Bill didn't cover it... the
loans made up the difference). You have to understand me and "money" to understand why
this $10,000 debt was so "dear" in my eyes. I've never had more than $800 in my Life...
that was the year after I'd graduated from High School... 1965... since then, although
it's cost me $500,000 to do the theory, I've had only negative "wealth"... "Credit-Card
Science Foundation :-). The $10,000 student loan was as a Sacred Responsibility to me,
and since "money" and me never had much to do with each other, I could not conceive of
taking on more debt. And the fact that I'd undertaken something that was deemed to be
"impossible", it was obvious to me, in my small "understanding" of "scholarship"
dynamics, that it was "useless" for me to pursue such. It's only been in =recent= years,
with the rather-large media coverage of "financial-aid" stuff, that I realized that I'd
missed a "whole world" of stuff that could've made a difference. But that's just it, you
see? If I'd had to accept "funding", I'd've had to "toe-the-line", and it's a =Certainty=
that I'd've been "steered away from" that which folks deemed "impossible"... so my
"financial-aid" naivete was as it =had= to be if the Understanding was to be dragged out
of the "Jungle"... wasn't it? Trust me, yes, it was.
Another crucial dynamic played it out during my first year of graduate studies. Because
all of my training, except for Springfield, had been in the "hard-Sciences", where
Mastery is flat-out expected, again, in my naivete with respect to the fact that this
wasn't the way folks went at it in the Life Sciences, I undertook to Master the content
of the Neuroscience stacks... this was one of the things that almost killed me... it was
Brutally-a-lot to take in. But, in the Libraries at UMass, Amherst, as I worked toward
what I believed was the requisite Mastery, it started to become =clear= to me that what
was in the Neuroscience stacks was vastly-more than what was in the textbooks, and
vastly-more than what was being, then, taught in the classroom. I'll leave at, "I lost
In 1976, Dr. Paar came through for me again, by accepting me as his Teaching Fellow,
which made it possible for me to continue my studies, which were, by then, Devoted
entirely to the development of the Theory, after my G. I. Bill allotment ran out. Dr.
Paar was going on a Sabattical that year. I was in the midst of the worst of the battle
for the theory's stuff, and I didn't "make it"... at a celebration for a newly-won PhD,
sherry was served... again, my naivete played itself out crucially... I thought "sherry"
was something like the watered-down 3.2-beer that I'd experienced while in the Navy
(Vietnam-era)... and, wanting to "lighten-up" in the midst of all that was threatening to
"cave-me-in, I drank it down as if it were a soft-drink... 8oz cup after 8oz cup... I
consumed, at least, a couple of bottles... on an empty stomache (=important= *).
I was engaged then. My Fiance was to meet me for dinner in the dining commons. The sherry
had kicked-in, and I was on my way to being totally-wiped-out. By chance, I had a copy of
the _Reader's Digest_ with me. I was =always= reading... =always= searching for the means
to bridge the Communication gap... it had an article about the Pol Pot's Horrific
Genocide, and as I stumbled through "reading" that, I "died"... there was a freshman
sitting across the table from me... still a stranger to me... and I started berating
"him" about the Genocide... of course, I was "projecting", on this totally-Innocent one,
my own feelings of my own Failure to get the Understanding out-there prior to this
so-Huge Tragedy... like I said, I was "Dying"... there, seated next to the one I Loved, I
was dying. By chance, "two", a close Friend of mine, a fellow grad student, was in the
commons at the same time, and he joined us. As we talked, he related how he'd been
"accosted" by a football player... while attending a party at his sister's house (an
undergrad), the weekend before. I don't need to get into it (my respect was such for both
my Friend and his Sister, that what'd occurred was an Outrage), but what he related
tapped into the "storm" I was carrying within. I got up, went over to the table where the
football players ate, looking for the one involved... he wasn't there... I started a
fight with the members of the team, all-Innocents, who were there.
Needless to say, upon sobering up, I immediately sought out a qualified grad student, got
his acceptance, resigned my fellowship, having turned it over to him. The prior night had
been the last day of my formal Education. Appropriately, my Engagement was called-off...
and, being left with nothing other than the Beast, I was Free to wage War with it, on
=it's= terms... the Truly-Terrible times had begun.
To this day, my Greatest Sorrow remains with respect to my Breaking of the Trust Dr. Paar
had placed in me. Can you see it. This one, to whom so much is owed, was the one
most-gravely Hurt in my "dying'.
I've repeatedly asked folks to relate all of this, and =much= more, to you, but,
although, I'm aware, that the "stories" have circulated, there's been no one who'd share
Truth, openly, with you.
You see? No one "owes me" =anything=. How does anyone "owe" a Dead man? So, forget me...
these "hard" things are of consequence only in my own Life... at least they =should=
be... can anyone, now, understand why I've been so Desperately seeking Communication? Dr.
Paar, the Loved ones... all these years, Truth that I =could not= tell them, withheld
from them. =Their= Hurt, inflicted upon their Innocence, by me.
But, you see? Having Lost "Everything", I was =Free= to =Fight= the battle with the
Beast, "who" relies upon folks' having to "be nice" to maintain folks' blindness. And
spurred-on by everything within me that wanted so much to just give folks reason to
understand how I'd come to so Hurt them, I found within myself the Will to Fight as hard
as the Beast wanted to Fight.
It was during the ensuing "solitude"... whether "together", always Alone, that I was able
to See what Christ Taught... He "slipped" into my "Life", at just the one moment that I
could've "turned"... and He pulled me right-up. I won't "burden" you with it, but it was
awesome-jaw-hanging stuff... I'd already nailed-down the CNS... and there was Christ's
awesome, 2000-year ForeKnowledge... all Crystal-Clear... all Gently
reining-me-in-at-the-moment-of-my"Death" Stuff. You see... I'm no Saint... my "Knowledge"
of Jesus is of a lesser kind than that of the Saints... I am a Scientist... I, like
"Doubting" Thomas, =have to= See things with my own eyes.
Why all this =tonight=?
The time has come... my "Life" has been Solitary. I've Jesus, and my elderly Father.
That's it. The "unofficial" stories circulated... I can document such... and, because
they did, Communication became all the more difficult... what folks didn't know is that I
fully-disclosed myself to folks decades ago, in the hope that this "difficult" stuff, at
least, could be dealt with. But "Things" knew better than me... the extra Burden was
=necessary=... without it, the internal "stress" would just not've been great enough...
I'd never've been able to reach far enough without it's "Heat"... "Heat is Good"... it
fires the "engine"... and, since my jaw was all-hanging at the Wonder of The Mystery of
Christ's Awesome Foreknowledge, the Heat fired the "engine" without the "engine" "coming
apart". You cannot imagine the Savage-Intensity of the Battle, and I don't want for
anyone to have to. But, although I'll let the Battle's story go with me, everything of my
behavior with respect to others =must= be disclosed, so that folks can be =Free= to find
their own "place" for "me", which they cannot do if they're treated as "lesser Citizens
of Truth"... so that the Understanding can be unencumbered by "stories" whispered in the
night" with respect to my Being, and my "Death".
The "story" is the Understanding, itself, isn't it? Yes, it is. The work of all those
whose experiments and studies made the Understanding possible is what should be
Celebrated. I Disqualify myself... except that I'll not "go away" until the Understanding
is safe in the arms of the Children's Futures... until that happens, I see, clearly, that
the Beast still Dictates its Savage way. I won't "go away" until the Beast Exists no
So, "Why tonight"?
The thing came to fruition just as I opened my current Internet account. Don't go too
deeply, but think, a bit, of my Solitude. Well-earned, as it is, it still "Hurts" like
heck to be so Alone... so, I've turned to music... mainly, songs, whether Opera, Pop, or
Country, lifted to Heaven on the wings Woman's voice... my "ears" crave such, and I
"drink" these voices, and this, all-that-I-have-of-my-former-Hope Stuff, is Sustaining
Stuff... the now-lilting, now-powerful-cresendo-ing voices just course into me, carrying
me back to when I was yet "Alive"... and I Cherish them, they fill up, in me, what your
families fill up in you. Don't have "pity"... these are all I've had time for, anyway...
one can remain right-there, face-to-face with the Beast in the midst of the Joyful sounds
having been let in.
And it was one such Voice that was, only last month, the Angel of Mercy that Announced to
me that the Communication was, in fact, so-Strtongly Happening... the dynamics
surrounding, Disclosed everything, and I no longer had to Allow for the possibility that
I'd failed to bridge the gap between folks and the Understanding.
It "set me back".
What I've been doing is running a bunch of Disclosing-Experiments, so as to,
simultaneously, Acertain and Communicate, Verification. All have come out Positive, in
=both= respects. The Results are already written, Indelibly, into the Public Record.
Although not one person has told me outright, I've established Incontrovertible =Proof=
that the "gap" has been Bridged, and that folks do, indeed, have access to the
Understanding. (I've well-Guarded the Free Wills of those who've "told" me so much by
"other means"... what they will do is =their= call... I've well-Guarded the Free Wills of
very-nearly everyone, and have disclosed my Failures with respect to such to Fair
Witnesses, so as to "undo", as best I can, these few failures.)
Why all of =this=?
No one would talk to me... no one.
In this matter, I have not been free to "guess".
I have seen, for a long time, folks "offering compromises", that I've understood, have
been "invitations" to "come-forth", =conditionally=.
Perhaps folks'll understand, one day, why it is that I =could not= accept such offers of
"compromise". What has been at stake is =Truth= itself... Truth =must= be taken
=whole=... "move away from" Truth, and, although Truth remains Unchanged, what one
retains is False, through-and-through... I call such dynamics
"the-back-dooring-of-"truth"... and it's been the almost-exclusive "way" of Humans since
the beginning... and it's been this =one= thing that's spawned =all= of "man's inhumanity
to man". If you think me "too-hard", perhaps if you think a bit more, you'll realize that
I've =Searched= History with respect to this one thing... the "back-dooring-of-"truth"...
and I've found it to be of-the-Beast 100% of the time... the "easy" way to see such is to
imagine yourself facing a Life-and-Death Decision... do you want =all= the information,
or just part of it?
Search yourself, and you'll find that you want =all= the information... and, given, such,
your Life is Assured, because having all the information allows you to Choose in a way
that will preserve Life. =Only= Truth has this Quality. =Anything= else, no matter how
=seemingly= "improbable" leaves you Unable to Choose Unfailingly, doesn't it. Yes, it
=This= is the way in which I Value Truth. I have so-Valued Truth on your behalves. If
folks've wondered why I long ago expressed Free-Will-ingness to "go away" "after the dust
settles", it is simply be-cause I =have= so-Valued Truth on =your= behalves. Do you see
the Stuff of my Choice. I =had= to do it, because, as far as I could tell, I was the only
one who =could= do it. It's Done. Now, I'm Burdened with Guarding your Free Wills... I
must "step back", and allow folks to Choose.
You cannot Choose "not to allow the Understanding to be Communicated in 'normal' ways"...
you =cannot=. You might =think= you can, but you =cannot=.
There's no "mystery" here, nor is there any Force being applied... The Understanding is
out-there, where it formerly wasn't. Folks now have the possibility of receiving =all=
the information that's crucial to =any= Life-and-Death Decision.
To the degree that anyone interferes with the filling-up of that possibility, those folks
are deliberately Choosing to Disallow other folks' Choice...
Is all this so "terrible"? No. It's just making perfectly-clear what it is that the
Beast, within, has been doing to each of us all along. And =that's= why you "cannot
"Choose" "not to allow the Understanding to be Communicated in 'normal' ways"... if you
"dance" around it, you're =still= Choosing. Only thing is, henceforth, everyone's going
to Recognize you for what you are... the "one" who'd let them Perish.
If you search it, in the end, you'll find nothing to "regret" that it's all had to go the
way it has, in fact, gone. Humanity was in the Absence of Light... the Beast, existing
=within= us, flesh of our flesh, was blinding us to Truth... "withholding" Truth from us.
I'm not saying the Beast is Dead... clearly, the Beast Lives, still... look around... in
the flesh of each "terrorist", whatever the particular "terror", be it stalking your
Children, or bombing a Embassy of the United states of America, or gunning down a
Catholic, or a Protestant in Ireland, or Ravaging Buddist, Tibettan, Sikh, Hindi, Jew,
Christian, or Moslem, or "Black", or "White", or Oriental, or Native American... and so
forth, among all Creeds, Races and Persuasions... =there= is the Beast, staring
out-at-you from within the "Living" Flesh of each "terrorist"... and the Hallmark of the
"terrorist"... the way that he/she can be readily recognized... is that he/she will
endeavor to "withhold" =Truth= from you. Henceforth, such cannot be Accomplished.
A good place to begin would be in the "Business" sections of booksellers... after work,
anticipating a need to present Verification of a position that I've taken in another
Newsgroup (with respect to things "going vertical"), I visited one of my customary
booksellers... I searched the shelves... my Heart "broke"... (all "paraphrases", here)
"'Win' this"... "'Win' that"... "How to talk convincingly"... and so on, and so forth...
=manuals= on =how to Deceive=... 60-70% of the books in stock are =manuals= on =how to
No wonder the Fed was out, all "pomp and circumstance", this day. Business folks
=Celebrate= =Deception=. Do Business Schools =Teach= such? They must, look at all the
=manuals= that Celebrate Deception... all those authors have got to get all that from
somewhere, don't they? The Hallmark of the Beast, within... not only the active
"withholding" of Truth, the Verifiable Promulgation of such. This's a Shame-Filled set
of things that, after a bit, if it's not sorted out by others during the interim, I'll
set straight in the other Newsgroup.
There's another Study I've done that I wish to tell folks about. It is with respect to
"Advertising" (no, not =that= one). You can replicate this study. All you need is in the
archives of your local Libraries, although it would be of some help to you if you, taped
the entirety of every evening News broadcast, commercials and all. The study consists of
comparing time-sequenced advertising volumes Historically. What's disclosed is the
"pressure" "big-business" imposes upon the Institutions and people upon whom we are all
dependent for information. It's not a one-way thing. You have to think a bit. Watch for
sudden shifts in the prevailing "ad" size, for instance... "ads" get smaller... prices
have gone up... and so forth... see, if you only know how to look, no one can Deceive
you. What to do? Just, flat-out, don't do business with any company that exerts such
"pressure" upon Journalism... just flat-out, dont. If you do, you're funding the Beast's
existence. But do be careful to note the prevailing "commercial" space... 'cause it's
=not= a one-way thing.
What's Business to do? In advertising, take your cue from Public Broadcasting, declare
the =Real Service= that you're Funding for folks right in your "ads"... you know, "We at
Zoomerco, are proud of the role we play in making it possible for you to receive the
information you need to support your decisions by purchasing this advertisement. We stand
with you in embracing the best-possible future for you and your children. Please remember
us when you are shopping for goods (and/or services) that we provide."
You know, your advertising $ should have =one= purpose only... doing what any person of
Good Will does, caring enough for folks to want them to have the best chance that they
can for achieving success in their endeavors. Do this Ethically, letting the Journalists
=Be= Journalists, and folks'll see, in that, Huge reason to explore Trusting you in other
ways... with respect to your Goods and Services. 'Course, your Goods and Services must,
themselves, be Truth through-and-through... want an example? Look to Saturn. They're
"just" Working =hard= to be =Honest=... =my= next car will be a Saturn (if I "Live" long
enough to purchase a next car). I always, always, always take such considerations of
Truth to Heart when making Decisions. It's not even "hard" once one gets the hang of
it... it is, in fact, a Joyous thing to kick the Beast in the shins, and know that,
be-cause of it, the Future of a Child somewhere has just been made better.
To the Consumer... Know that, if you Choose to do business with an organization that
doesn't pass this test of =Actively= Honoring Truth, that organization is trying to
Dictate your Decisions to you. If you acquiesce, you not only walk hand-in-hand with the
Beast, you =Feed= it... and it will, with =Certainty=, "reward" you by Ravaging you and
your Children. If you need concrete examples, taken right out of the Public Record, just
ask. I'll provide them to you.
Again, I'm =not= saying the Beast is Dead... I'm just saying that, as of today, the
Beast's Death is =Certain=... it's Accomplished. The Proof is Written into the Public
Record. K. P. Collins
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