well -

ken collins kckpaulc at aol.comABCXYZ
Sun Oct 17 16:30:00 EST 1999


since i can't read any of my prior posts in bionet.neuroscience, seems that,
once again, i've been 'exiled' to a 'clone' server... it's a Sorrow, that'll
leave me unwilling to post anything that really matters in this msg.

so, i'll just 'wander around' a bit.

what i came online to do was to clarify coments i made with respect my 'falling
in love' with the Women who give themselves in Service under the auspices of
Medecins Sans Frontiers.

i realized, after posting the msg, that 'clarification' is necessary, lest
folks, inverted with respect to NDT's stuff, yet again, 'twist' still-another
thing that i say so incompletely (it's another 'spreading mustard on bread vs.
spreading mustard on the meat' thing :-)

anyway, i 'fall in love' with the Saints, as i read their lives. i 'fall in
love' with Recipients of the Medal of Honor, when i read of their
self-sacrificing acts on behalf of their comrades-in-arms, and, in my view, on
behalf of Humanity in general'. i 'fall in love' with Leaders who choose the
'unpopular' course, to their own detriment in our 'cynical' world, because
they've called themselves to task with respect to what needs to be done. i
'fall in love' with Mothers and Fathers when i encounter them so-Loving their
Children (and never-failingly, express my 'love' to them, even though i am
'stranger' to them. i 'fall in love' with Teachers who choose to so-give their
own Lives to the Children... to the Future of Humanity.

and so forth, where ever, and whenever, i encounter the 'magic' Light of the
Human Embrace doing its gentle, nurturing Stuff... i 'fall in love' with the
folks who so-give themselves.

and, so, it's just 'natural' for me to 'fall in love' with the olks of Medecins
Sans Frontiers. what they do is so Truly-Awesome, that witnessing such fairly
fills my 'heart' to over-flowing with Thrill-Stuff... and i 'fall in love'.

as for myself and the Nobels... do 'you' remember my, perhaps,
seemingly-out-of-place post in which i reiterated Oaths of Service i'd taken?

perhaps 'you' recall the way it ended in an invoking of words quoted from
_Saving Private Ryan_... "Earn this. Earn it."

i Knew, back then, what i'd most-likely have to do, come 'these days'.

for may part, i'm Grateful to the Norwegian Nobel Selection Committee that they
handled what i had to do so-Gracefully... they are in my 'heart', from the
bottom of which, i Apologize that the work i've done, and which i'm trying to
bring forward, has resulted in such Agony for them... all i can say is... i've
'fallen in love' with you.

my work is in Science. i've decided, given all that's transpired, that i must
take great care in discussing Tapered Harmony, the theory of physical reality
that i've developed, further... things'll have to be 'woven' a bit
more-'secretly' if it's to be the case that i'll keep my Promise to the
Children. but if the folks in Norway see fit to do so (and if i survive until
then), i'll accept next year's Nobel in Medicine.

Forgive me, please, if this's 'untoward'. it's 'just' that i've Learned that
Truth must be guarded at all costs... it cannot be that i be 'shunted-off' to a
'place' in which my 'voice' is not rooted, firmly, within Science.

one more thing. in the msg to which i'm actually replying, here (it was in the
'Acknowledging of Priority' (or something like that) thread), i also wrote of
my 'solitude'. i realized, afterward, that this, 'two', was subject to
'misinterpretation', so i'll also clarify it a bit, here.

over the years, there've been Courageous folks who've reached out to me, to
convey their gentle Understanding. perhaps i've failed, but i've tried to
always respond via 'private' means, to Thank them, and to warn them about doing
anything more. this, because i knew it could not be the case that these gentle
Women and Men could possibly be aware of everything that has been unfolding
against the understanding. but, since i've had such awareness all along, i
wrote to these folks to 'protect' them.

your gentle communications have so lifted-me-up, over the years, that it's been
easy for me to carry all of you in my 'heart', and doing so has made all the
difference for me in being able to continue.

'i love you, too.'

but i admonish you, still, 'You stay. I go. No following'.

ken (K. P. Collins)



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