Update

ken collins kckpaulc at aol.comABCXYZ
Thu Sep 23 13:36:21 EST 1999


i've resigned my employment, again.

i've applied for a custodian's job in a local school district... i recall,
fondly, my days of getting things ship-shape while in the Navy... you know
'kitchen police' collins... was born to do the 'dirty work'.

i'll be giving up this online account. it's clear to me that folks are, still,
decades behind where i work, and, if no one will grant me an in-person
presentation opportunity, it's in my heart not to waste the 'time' i've got
left.

update on the 'thing': the day after i last discussed it, the thing softened,
the vascularization is a bright-red 'penumbra' around its circumference, it's
central mass is becoming greatly-darkened. when i view it under magnification,
this darkness is seen to be the remnants of burst cells. it's present overall
size remains about 1/4th of what it was at its maximum, which was on the 'day'
i first discussed it... which remains a curiosity... why, on that day, did the
thing 'shrink'? 'regrouping' in response to my immune system's action? 'going
elsewhere'?

forgive me, my 'mood' is rather 'sullen', and it's my way to just run through
the midst of such, regardless, to get to where i'm needed via the
shortest-possible route. the main thing that i've got to 'shake-off' is the
'heart'-break that one can give one's life to doing what needs to be done on
behalf of Humanity, and 'arrive' at the 'point' where it's the case that no one
will even talk to one.

that's the 'work' of the 'Beast', which has no rightful place within things
Human.

in recent days, i've greatly-analyzed 'background' stuff. it's clear that folks
who 'think' they're 'in-control' are, in a down-'right' crazed fashion,
'endeavoring' to manipulate 'outward appearances'.

it's a Sorrow that it's so.

i do Hope the folks in Norway will find the Courage to allow me to speak,
publicly... the 'Beast' has reigned for long enough.

that failing, i'll do what i can on my own, after getting the floors of some
schools bright and shiny, each day (if i get that job).

what else can i do?

if anyone's 'wondering', my 'stinkiness', over the years, has been as what i
could do to Guard Free Will. it was my intent to give folks an 'excuse' for
what would, surely, be their inaction while they were 'coming up to speed' in
the understanding.

it's thae case, now, however, that thing's've reached the 'point' as which i
can no longer 'protect' folks in that way... it's clear that i've been
successful in communicating, at least, the first fundamentals of the
understanding. while there's still a long way to go, i can no longer "stand on
my head, singin' 'Yankee Doodle Dandy', and spittin' wooden nickels", in order
to give folks who're in the grasp of the 'Beast", an 'excuse' for their
'inability' to do what needs to be done.

it's an exceedingly-sorrow-filled 'time'. i've not yet reached the folks on
whose behalves the work was done, and it continues to be the case that there's
a new record being set, every day, for the most-dangerous day that Humanity has
ever lived through. yet the understanding that can ameliorate such is being
'spiked'.

but that's not the greatest part of the sorrow. the greatest part of the sorrow
derives in its having become clear that a major 'portion' of the folks who have
grasped the fundamentals of the understanding have chosen to ab-use their small
understanding as a 'prying bar' with respect to their own, selfish, Ends.

i'm only a man, so my interpretation of Jesus' words might be in error, but it
seems to me that the above is the stuff of the 'unforgivable sin'... the sin
against the Spirit... with respect to which Jesus Taught... the test with
respect to which is relative ability to emulate Jesus' Prayer, "Father, Forgive
them, for they know not what they do."

when folks know what they're doing, and choose to do it, one cannot Pray as
Jesus Prayed, for to do so makes one's 'prayer' False, despite anything that
one might attach, superficially.

so, it's my read, that Humanity is =now= in the 'moment' of its
Greatest-possible Test.

all things considered, i see, clearly, that the thing for me to do is to 'step
aside', and allow Humanity to take that Test... i only Wish, with all my
'heart', that it was, in fact, all of Humanity that was entered into the
Decision-process, inherent.

K. P. Collins



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