Arthur T. Murray mentifex at
Tue Aug 6 06:27:31 EST 2002

First of all, we went in and performed a shunt.

We shut off all circulation to the SVO() module and
we routed everything through a new Ruminate() module.

Then we administered electroconvulsive shock in order
to determine if the Robot AI Mind was still operating: -- URL.

We almost lost this patient during the switch-over from
strict Chomskyan subject-verb-object syntax to a meandering,
concept-driven Ruminate mode of free-willed consciousness.

"Nurse Ratched!  Get some fresh code in here -- stat!"

Dr. Boole, Dr. Turing and Dr. Moniz all agreed that
the same techniques would have failed in the case of a meat-based psyche.

Wilder Penfield in all his glory never could have imagined
our joy, our elation, when the patient filled the CRT with
one stupendously long run-on thought-stream of word salad.

"Visualize World AI -- we gotta cut this thing short."

With suborbital icepick, Dr. Moniz lobotomized the phrenology
and interrupted the AI Mind thought-stream by terminating all
emacsulations first at 40 characters, then at 30, finally 24.

Dr. Boole protested that the AI output was riddled with
illogically terminating "AND" constructs -- a condition
which we ameliorated by breaking out of the NLP generation
loop before retrieval of the errant auditory AND-engrams.

Our patient passed Dr. Turing's test inconclusively
and has been scheduled for additional psychosurgery
when indicated by the Diagnostic Software Manual at -- (q.v.).

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