HOWE to train dogs like freaking MAGICK

Charlie Wilkes charlie_wilkes at easynews.com
Fri Jul 11 16:22:09 EST 2003


On Fri, 11 Jul 2003 16:38:36 GMT, "The Puppy Wizard"
<ThePuppyWizard at earthlink.net> wrote:

>HOWEDY Charlie,
>
>"Charlie Wilkes" <charlie_wilkes at easynews.com> wrote in message
>news:ln2tgv4ktq4itgi7jjjequnk0m7no7mk9k at 4ax.com...
>> On Thu, 10 Jul 2003 08:29:46 GMT, "The Puppy Wizard"
>> <ThePuppyWizard at earthlink.net> wrote:
>>
>> >HOWEDY People,
>> >
>> >Here's HOWE to train dogs like freaking MAGICK:
>
><snip>
>
>> Yep.  It think we'll also need a party bong and a bag of Carribean bud
>
>Well, that was a BIG problem for anyWON in Haiti back in '78. The daily
>newspapers had psychologists and politicians writing abHOWET the evils
>of the KILLER WEED, a la harry ainslinger. You'd go to jail for WON to
>three years for a roach, and you could get LIFE for ANY quantity. HOWEver,
>if you comitted MURDER, you was assured not to spend MOORE than seven
>years in the hooskow.
>
>The Puppy Wizard went there to lend HIS skills to a Baptist missionary
>hospital in a remote area of the country. The HOWEspital generator was
>the only source of power for forty miles arHOWEND and there was WON
>hand cranked telephone in town, which could take as long as 24 HOWERS
>to make the connection to a real telephone line in Port Au Prince.
>
>Communication between missionary HOWEtposts was most often
>done on horseback as roads if they exised, were often impassable
>by jeep. Patients would often spend three days on foot trying to
>make their way to the clinic, where they were then required to pray
>and then wait someMOORE before being attended to by medical staff.
>
>We was losin 5 babies a day to quashirakour, the advanced state
>of malnutrition where the kids develop them big bellies, and we
>was losin 25 patients a day to malaria.
>
>The Puppy Wizard's primary interest in the HOWEspital was their
>pediatrics ward, where two and three year old children had never
>learned to walk, because nobody had the moment or the interest
>to give them a finger to hold onto to learn to stand. Babies were
>picked up by WON arm and moved a few inches to get HOWETA
>their own crap, settin as many as could fit on a bed sheet on the
>floor and only changing it when there was no MOORE space left.
>Laundry was done by hand in the river and dried on the bramble
>bush in the sun, there was no running water, except in the
>HOWESpital, HOT water was non existent.
>
>The staff was afraid to pick the children up and cuddle them,
>as they were infested with bugs. Even when The Puppy Wizard
>showed them HOWE to handle the babys, the staff would only
>touch them pupperly when The Puppy Wizard was standing
>there to supervise. Their complaint was that The Puppy Wizard
>was bein UNFAIR to THEM, that The Puppy Wizard didn't have
>to worry abHOWET bringin BUGS back to HIS family, and that
>HE had a SHOWER to bath in. The Puppy Wizard was PAYIN
>for HIS own room and board at the HOWESpital, so that nobody
>could say HE was TAKIN anything from the mHOWEths of the poor.
>
>Babies were often abandoned at the HOWEspital cause parents
>had NO money to pay for their treatment and believed their children
>would face a BETTER LIFE in the HOWEspital orphanage.

Hospitals like that are for children who are too young or far gone
from disease to interest the pedophiles and third-world
industrialists.

Sometimes I think the Cold War was a great, missed opportunity, Jerry.
We could have blown the crust off the entire planet.

Charlie
>
>> and some Screamin' Jay Hawkins for the boom-box.
>
>Ahhha, surrHOWEnded by mHOWEntains, we didn't have
>but WON radio station, and they didn't play nuthin but political
>puppergander and government censored news. The voodoo
>drums was the only real communication, you can hear them
>throughHOWET the country. Rumor has it you can trainsfer
>gold through their undergrHOWEnd network faster than a
>bank trainsfer, The Puppy Wizard will accept that as likely true.
>
>> And it sounds like we'll be going to a place where we may need
>> gator repellant.
>
>Not there, not since the last of the wildlife had been wiped HOWET.
>
>> Charlie
>
>Some Mumbo Jumbo To Crow About
>
>HOWEDY voodoo,
>
>"voodoo" <voudin at yourplace.orgy> wrote in message
>news:3e2b80e5$1_6 at news.teranews.com...
>>
>> "Jerry Howe" <jhowe2 at bellsouth.net> wrote in message
>> news:pv4W9.38607$Jm2.24355 at news.bellsouth.net...
>> > "ThePsychic" <esp at lol.knet> wrote in message
>> > news:3e1bb46b$1_6 at news.teranews.com...
>> > > "The Puppy Wizard" <jhowe2 at bellsouth.net> wrote in message
>> > > news:92FCD72752376 at 216.168.3.30...
>
><> > > <snip> SNIP.>
>
>THAT'S, HOWE its DONE.
>
>> > > What an annoying blowhard little prick you are.
>
>Annoying???
>
>> > Naaah, you're SPOILED. You got no idea HOWE
>> > annoying The Puppy Wizard REALLY IS.
>:
>> why's he/she spoiled?
>
>PUNK THUG CAN'T HANDLE PAIN OR MAGICK...
>
>"Jerry Howe" <jhowe2 at bellsouth.net> wrote in message
>news:a3k5p4$190n9s$1 at ID-41291.news.dfncis.de...
>
>> Hello Mojo2112,
>> "mojo2112" <mojo2112 at hotmail.com> wrote in message
>> news:oOa78.22480$F01.1623547 at nnrp1.ptd.net...
>:
>> > Well jerry I too agree with all of these posts......
>:
>> EXCELLENT, thank you. Please tell your friends.
>
>> > your manual works wonders....
>:
>> You mean it works like MAGICK?
>:
>> > thanks
>:
>> Thank you Mojo. Just ask if you need any FREE help.
>> Hey? I got me a mojo too...:
>
>---- Original Message -----
>From: "Mike Dufort" <mdufort at snakebite.com>
>To: "Jerry Howe" <jhowe2 at bellsouth.net>
>Sent: Saturday, September 22, 2001 10:51 AM
>Subject: Re: Why Am I Doing this?
>
>Hello mikey,
>
>> Nice try...still no success though...
>
>Wanna bet? Didn't I tell you to go $#!T in your hat
>three or four posts ago today mikey???
>
>> You keep forgetting that I could care less.
>
>If I'm not bothering you, HOWE COME you posted
>to me a half dozen times already just today? You've
>posted twenty emails in WON day to ME, mikey.
>
>> But I'll give ya an A for effort!
>
>Shove it. Jerry don't work for no damned points.
>
>You gonna raise that handsome kid of yours to grow
>up to think and act just like you??? Shameful, mikey. <} : ~  ( >
>
>> Hey - I need your advice, actually.
>
>NO SWEAT! I told you if there's anything you want
>to learn, just ask me mikey. I told you I hold no malice.
>
>I'm at your disposal. HOWE, may I serve YOU?
>
>> I've engineered (well, my pixies have)
>
>Pixies? Uh, huh!!! I think I see your problem already,
>good buddy. They got a tough freakin union, boy, I'll
>tell you. That's HOWE COME I rely on Elves, mikey.
>
>The Puppy Wizzzard wouldn't have a union shop
>because Jerry takes care of his own, like I'm helpin
>you out right now, good buddy. But to each his own,
>mikey.
>
>I suppose a secure union shop would be important
>for someone like yourself who can't think outside of
>the box (no pun intended) and needs to rely on folks
>like the BBB and unions to direct their affairs and
>speak for them like candace does here, cause you
>can't think or act for yourself, good buddy.
>
>But to each his own, as I said. I ain't anti union or bbb
>organizations and the like, but working on my own means
>I'm only responsible to myself, and my people and dogs
>always come first to me, good buddy.
>
>> a device that will prevent a person from ever getting sick.
>
>A bissel maazzle, boichik! L'chaiym! WONDERFUL! That's
>really something to crow about ain't it, mikey? I was just
>reading a university study talking about the rhythmical
>purring of the Kat being a possible important contributory
>factor in promoting healing. That purrrrrr sounds a lot like
>my machine, in some regards. Perhaps I'll discover NEW
>benefits to my DDR, kind along the same lines as your
>Pixie's discoveries?
>
>WE could be cut off the same cloth, eh good buddy!?!?!!!
>Wouldn't that be preferable to being known as "that Thug
>who suckled the same soured teat with ed w of pet loss
>dot CON, lying frosty dahl, lyin "I LOVE KOEHLER" lynn,
>and professor lyin doc SCRUFF SHAKE dermer?"
>
>> I can't tell you exactly HOWE it works,
>
>Of course not, that would be proprietary information
>which I'd never even consider asking you about
>particularly as my own endeavors so closely parallel
>your discoveries, evidentially. HOWE lucky you are,
>my fine friend!
>
>> but I can tell you it works like MAGICK.
>
>Well now you're talking my lingo good buddy; Creole.
>The truth be known, I got my DDR off of that Witch
>Doctor in Haiti who cured me of the curse a "scorned"
>girlfriend's "witch doctor" aunt put on me for dissin the
>bitch.
>
>You know HOWE it goes good buddy when women
>go stark ravin absolutely wildly crazy out of their
>minds in love with you and you can't shake 'm loose
>no matter HOWE hard you try?
>
>Well, perhaps you DON'T know HOWE it goes, so
>I'll tell ya HOWE it IS, mikey. I  was walking down a
>busy street in the poor part of town after a late dinner
>one nite, when some folks recognized me from a big
>funeral party I'd attended earlier that week for some
>big shot who'd shit the bed on us... and they invited
>me to join them on their front steps, for a drink.
>
>While chit chatting with my new found friends, one
>of them told me that if I stick around for a bit, our
>host would be performing some MAGICK, and he'd
>give me a spell, if I desired.
>
>So, not believing much in MAGICK way back then,
>I figured I'd check it out just to see if I could find
>out what's up his sleeves.
>
>Well, there weren't nuthin up his sleeves, good
>buddy. He wasn't one of them tourist witch doctors
>who rips folks off from the tour boats with a "show."
>
>This guy was a REAL country Witch Doctor. Down
>there when you practice MAGICK you can go to jail
>if you fail to perform your spells, mikey. The courts
>will charge you with malpractice and the judge might
>throw you in the slammer for five or six years for rippin
>folks off for their Blue Cross benefits.
>
>Our host came out with seven small bottles of MAGICK
>SAND and laid them out in front of me in a row and
>whupped out a handkerchief with an ancient arrowhead
>wrapped inside, took it out, told me to extend my right
>arm palm up, and he laid the ancient arrowhead in the
>middle of my palm, the still sharp tip pointing back at me.
>
>He made some Mumbo F'n Jumbo as he took some
>MAGICK Sand from each MAGICK bottle and mixed
>them all together in the handkerchief. He carefully
>poured a line of Seven Magic Sands down the inside
>of my forearm, round and round and round in my palm
>making his Loa over the arrowhead, and ran a line of
>Seven Magic Sands across my palm to make his
>Magnificent Loa Cross in the palm of my hand, over
>the ancient arrowhead.
>
>And then he took out something that smelled like
>cheap cologne, and sprinkled a healthy dose of it
>on the sand in my palm over his Loa over the
>ancient arrowhead.
>
>Then he made some moore Mumbo Jumbo and
>and asked me what did I WANT?
>
>Me? He wasn't granting anyone else his MAGICK
>that beautiful tropical evening, mikey. He had come
>to town ONLY to meet ME, mikey, because he'd
>heard through the drums that I was suffering a
>CURSE from my angry former lover's evil aunt.
>
>What did I want at that moment besides wanting
>to get the HEEL OUTTA THERE, Fe Vite!!!???!!!,
>mikey?
>
>I didn't want NOTHIN Man, I wasn't ready for this.
>
>I wasn't lookin for no damned  MAGICK!
>
>HEEL, I was livin with devout Baptists! I didn't even
>believe in Mumbo Freakin Jumbo back then mikey,
>I was so freakin cocky, ignorant, and naive.
>
>But he was serious and "things" was startin to getting
>really eerie mikey, the bustling street was now empty
>and deathly silent, but you could feel and see ALL
>EYES WATCHING US, mikey.
>
>And ALL OF A SUDDEN, I realized this weren't no damned joke.
>
>All's I really really really wanted at that point was
>another hit off of his 180 proof moonshine rum
>and some serious butt.
>
>He believed he could give me ANYTHING I asked for.
>My other associate hurriedly advised me we were
>blessed with the presence of a truly powerful Houngoun,
>and he was performing an especially potent ceremony
>ONLY on my behalf, knowing who I was and that I was
>in their poor but beautiful country only to give of my
>talents to help the sick and the poor and asked for myself
>nothing in return.
>
>At that moment I KNEW this big black Bokor had traveled
>several days across the countryside just to meet ME, and
>he was DEAD SERIOUS.
>
>Yeah, I was kinda a legend there too, mikey, kinda a la
>"the drums speak," advising people of my every activities, announcing my
>arrivals before I arrived anywhere in the
>country no matter HOWE I traveled.
>
>Working as assistant to the doctor of a renowned
>missionary hospital in the "outback" whom I
>volunteered to help during a malaria outbreak brought
>me tons of respect from everyone I met everywhere,
>everywhere, everywhere I went.
>
>I met people who'd NEVER seen a white man mikey,
>come out of the bush and say in almost perfect English
>"Hello Mr. Jerry, my friend me!"
>
>Even on my birthday, while sittin alone in a little empty
>restaurant, a travelling band walked in the door, and
>without sayin BOO, approached my table, started playin
>"Happy Birthday To You" in perfect English, no doubt
>the ONLY English they knew! HOWE did THEY know
>it was my birthday?
>
>NOBODY knew but ME, and here I was, sittin all alone,
>facing an impromptu SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY,
>just me, the waitress, and this Mystical travelling band.
>
>You'da thunk I was freaking Albert Swietzer or somethin
>they way them grateful bastards treated me!!! Yeah, I
>even trained a few dogs there too, mikey.
>
>After the missionary hospital work I continued my
>volunteer work in a reforestation project to fight
>erosion which a five year drought had brought, and
>washed everything down the mountainsides when
>the torrential rains finally came, bringing with it
>the malaria while taking away the few scraps of
>dying corn and beans that was fighting to survive
>the drought.
>
>The drums truly do speak, mikey. They communicate
>all over the country, one VooDoun practitioner to the
>next, mountain top tomountain top, till the message is
>delivered with the accuracy of Sprint Microwaves.
>
>They can even transfer GOLD through their
>drums, mikey, just like Western Freakin Union.
>
>This guy KNEW ME, mikey. He'd been following
>my progress through the countryside for months,
>and came to town this day JUST to meet ME, mikey.
>
>So, to get back to my Hounghan. He asks me for
>three wishes. I had been ill for a couple of weeks,
>and nothing would fix it. Ooooh, I was sick and hurt
>and nearly broke, mikey. I'd finished my work with
>the Bon Samaritan Missionary Hospital, and the
>reforestation project was rolling, and now I needed
>new work, new housing, and most importantly mikey
>and as G-d is my Judge, I needed some NEW PU$$Y,
>BIG TIME!!!
>
>Well, he told me to rub the Seven MAGICK Sands
>and that ancient arrow head and what I can only
>describe as that cheap cologne on my forehead,
>under my arms, and anywhere I felt sick or hurt.
>
>I followed the doctors orders, I did as prescribed.
>
>Within three days my health had returned
>COMPLETELY mikey.
>
>And before the week was out I wrangled myself
>a job training horses and mountain boys to work
>them. I had housing, maid service and all my
>meals for FREE. And there was a contract and
>$1000.00 DOLLARS in hip national, as front money.
>
>Man oh man, I was about sittin on top of the world now,
>when just a few days before I was sick and lame and
>counting my pennies planning to return stateside in a
>few days when I ran out of cob (the countries smallest
>denomination of money). I could live well on three bucks
>a day there, mikey.
>
>So mikey, where am I going with all this, good buddy?
>I had been granted three wishes mikey. So I asked for
>good health and good fortune, in a country where those
>are scarce. I only took two wishes, mikey, and they were
>granted tout suite.
>
>The third wish, I had refused, mikey. I told him I
>would be satisfied with only those two wishes. I
>told him I'd leave my last wish for someone less
>fortunate than myself, mikey. I'm a simple, reserved,
>unpretentious man mikey.
>
>I don't need THINGS like you do to be happy, mikey.
>I only wanted to be able to live in peace and help
>others do likewise, mikey. Kinda like that little dog
>Symphony, mikey.
>
>You remember Symphony, don't you mikey?
>
>I told Dr. Mumbo Big F'n Jumbo I'd leave my third
>wish up to the confidence and judgement of this
>magnificent, powerful, Bokor. They LOVE being
>flattered like that mikey, ESPECIALLY by a white
>man speaking en Creole. That's what they respect
>mikey, folks who care and love them enough to
>learn HOWE to communicate with their uneducated
>People in their unwritten language. "Parlez Franciaise
>pas di le spirit pou ca."
>
>"To speak French is NOT a sign of cleverness."
>
>When I returned to the states a few months later,
>unbeknownst to me his MAGICK began to work
>my third wish, mikey, the third wish I'd never asked
>for because with good health and good fortune I can
>make my own DESTINY mikey, I didn't need to be greedy.
>
>I left that third wish for another, less fortunate soul, or
>for whomever or whatever my new found friend Doctor
>Mumbo Big F'n Jumbo desired to do with the fruits of
>his Seven MAGICK Sands, the ancient arrowhead,
>and that gawedafull "cheap cologne."
>
>NO mikey, I'd never asked him for any MAGICK
>BLACK BOX that mystical nite. But that's pretty
>close to what my third wish woulda been, that I'd
>train ANY dog or any lady to WANT to do every
>thing I ask.
>
>No mikey, I never did ask him for a MAGICK BLACK
>BOX that trains ANY dog for me from thousands of
>miles away, kinda like HOWE he learned about me
>through the constant beating of those jungle Voo
>Doo Drums, much the same as my wonderful Doggy
>Do Right (And Kitty Will And A Rooster Did Too)
>machine DOES TODAY mikey, courtesy of this
>benevolent phantom Mumbo Big F'n Jumbo Witch
>Doctor, who refused to even accept payment for his
>PRIVATE VooDoun Ceremony he'd traveled for days
>across the country to perform for me in gratitude for
>helping his People mikey, through my missionary and
>reforestation work and the LIFE I was GIVING them.
>
>> How do I start going about duping people into believing this?
>
>Oh, you want me to teach you about conning folks
>into buying your marvelous Pixie machine? Sure mikey,
>NO SWEAT. First, you gotts to come up with a catchy
>name, something like Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will
>And A Rooster Did Too).
>
>And then you gotts to set a price under a hundred
>bucks, so your stooges can afford it. And then
>you gotta GUARANTEE IT FOREVER like my
>Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will And A Rooster Did
>Too) machine, and give a FREE two year repair/replace
>warranty including PAID return postage.
>
>That way you can lull them into a sense of confidence
>that if your magic pixie stuff don't work for them, it
>ain't gonna cost 'em even one cent, JUST LIKE Doggy
>Do Right (And Kitty Will And A Rooster Did Too) and
>L.L. Bean promises.
>
>And then you've got to find some folks to BUY IT mikey.
>
>And then they got to try it and like it and write to the dog
>news groups where folks like you and ed w of pet loss
>dot CON are certain to fall in love with this wonderful
>machine that rehabilitates almost all dog behavior
>problems and saves dogs' lives, mikey.
>
>After all, who wouldn't want a little MAGICK BLACK
>BOX for their own dogs, once they tell you HOWE
>effective THEIR little MAGICK BLACK BOX worked
>for THEIR critters?
>
>But we don't want just ordinary people who can be
>duped, mikey. We want to find folks who KNOW
>animals and LOVE animals and have tried successfully
>and UNSUCCESSFULLY to train their dogs using
>conventional methods, mikey.
>
>Folks like Margaret Hoffman and her dog Chelsea,
>a customer I'd never known from freakin Adam till
>she bought my Doggy Do Right (Before it was And
>Kitty Will And A Rooster Did Too).
>
>I agreed to meet her because there was no Doggy Do
>Right machines available for her and Chelsea, I was
>temporarily out of stock due to a worldwide shortage
>of chips.
>
>Margaret had a multitude of difficulties and a short
>time to get there, so I helped her out for FREE, mikey.
>All Wits' End Dog Training is always FREE, mikey.
>
>That's something I've always wanted to be able
>to do, mikey. And now I'm doin it, thanks to Dr. Big
>F'n Mumbo Jumbo and HIS MAGICK.
>
>Then mikey, you need a few People like Elaine McClung,
>director of several rescues and shelters and is the County
>Commissioner of Critters. You've read her posts mikey, do
>you doubt them?  Don't get mad at me, Punch this -
>http://www.spacecats.com and get the contact info for
>their secretary or call their hot line and write them and
>verify me LIKE DAHL did when she spoke to Elaine herself.
>
>Why don't you contact Desiree Webber through them?
>Or you could just ask dahl, she knows...
>
>And THEN mikey, you need to find folks who freaking
>HATE dogs because their neighbor's dogs are causing
>them a nervous breakdown and they're fixing to take a
>job outside of their home to escape the constant barking
>from a dog five hundred feet away. And it did work,
>because my Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will Too) machine
>is at least 98% effective if you follow the instructions and
>ask me if you have difficulty.  That's Pam Graves I'm talking
>about, mikey.
>
>She's posted to the group through me so you bums
>can't harass her with computer viruses and phone
>calls at two a.m. But the right people can contact
>her directly through me in the event it's necessary
>to prove her claim, good buddy. I won't expose any
>of my good Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will And A
>ROOSTER Did Too) owners to vulgar dog abusing
>Thugs like you and ed w of petloss dot CON or
>professor lying doc "scruff shake" dermer, mikey.
>
>My people don't deserve the likes of you bums harassing them.
>
>That's what I got from your pal freaky frantik fraudreck
>of sit means sit net radio... and ed w of pet loss dot CON.
>But that won't last long, mikey. Wanna know HOWE COME?
>I'll freakin tell ya HOWE COME, mikey.
>
>During the past couple years I've been working my ass
>off figuring out HOWE to IDIOT PROOF my Doggy Do
>Right (And Kitty Will And A Rooster Did An A Cockatoo
>Or Two Did Too) machine so even fraudreck or dahl
>couldn't louse it up, and now that's been done and
>written and is in engineering at this moment.
>
>And I've got a few moore new MAGICK BLACK BOX
>applications coming, mikey.
>
>For example mikey, I got a machine that can train a
>man and a dog who've NEVER had a lesson, have
>never met, don't even know each other, to come,
>heel, stay, and return to heel and be ready to start
>on sit and down on their second lesson, in about
>WON HOWER, mikey. WITH NO STUDY.
>
>AUTOMAGICKALLY! Just listen to me and follow
>the audio instruction, no harder than walking and
>chewing gum. Hmmm... Maybe our "experts" won't
>be able to use it after all...
>
>O.K., except for you and our pals here, I've idiot
>proofed DOG TRAINING, mikey. You'll love it
>mikey cause you don't got to know squat, except
>to use my Doggy Do Right Trainer In Your Head
>machine. Just give it a voice sample, and in a few
>minutes you'll be ready to even give the little doggy
>A NEW NAME, and ERASE is old name, as I
>recommend for certain situations.
>
>Without NEVER studying HOWE, mikey. IOW,
>I've eliminated even the need for a training manual,
>mikey.... <} ; ~  }  >
>
>BUT even THAT STILL ain't enough for me, good
>buddy. What I REALLY REALLY REALLY needed
>was a few folks who've got shy and spooky and
>aggressive dogs and dogs working in therapy
>programs because my machine has improved their
>pet's sense of CONFIDENCE and COMFORT,
>and my wondrous machine made THAT possible
>for them, mikey.
>
>One of my Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will And A Rooster
>Did And A Cockatoo Or Two Did Too) people's dog's visits
>100 old people in a nursing home several days a week.
>The dog was FORMERLY so spooky she'd freak out on
>the overhead fans and on the ghostly echo's of the hallways.
>
>They're all very grateful Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will
>And A Rooster Did And A Cockatoo Or Two Did Too)
>made this little dog possible for some old and autistic
>folks, mikey. She got one lady to speak for the first time
>in years since her alzhiemers got so bad she didn't know
>what her own name was. And you wanna know what
>ELSE mikey?
>
>She's improved, she recognizes PEOPLE now and talks a bit.
>
>My team has bettered the quality of this poor old lady's
>miserable life because of that nice man and his wonderful
>little dog mikey, thanks to Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will
>And A Rooster Did And A Cockatoo Or Two Did Too) Machine.
>
>What more could a uneducated, shit kicking, shade tree
>dog trainer like me want, mikey? You know me mikey. I
>won't settle for second best when it comes to my critters
>and animal welfare, mikey.
>
>I want it all. I wanted my MAGICK BLACK BOX to train
>BIRDIES, MIKEY. They're about the hardest animal to
>train so I've heard, wouldn't you agree, mikey?
>
>And that's when a man called me up and asked if my
>Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will And A Rooster Did And
>A Cockatoo Or Two Did Too) could break his neighbor's
>rooster from crowing every 45 seconds from 5 a.m. till
>11 a.m. Constant cockadoodle doo. And it wasn't even
>his birdie so he couldn't even make fricassee.
>
>But I love roosters, mikey. I'd NEVER want to hurt a
>rooster, mikey. I traveled to six different chicken farms,
>took me all day lookin for just that one right rooster for
>MY home, mikey.
>
>I love listening to them call in the morning, don't you
>mikey? But every 45 seconds is a bit much even for
>my temperament and I can withstand ALMOST
>anything mikey, I'm freakin bulletproof, and you
>know that too, good buddy.
>
>That bird WAS FRANTIC, mikey. That's NOT NORMAL
>rooster behavior. That bird was aggressively calling to
>competitor roosters, mikey and he was HOT. He wasn't
>HAPPY, mikey. He was angry and scared.
>
>Well, we cooled his jets, mikey. The bird only crows
>about once an HOWER NOW mikey, and that's
>tolerable and natural and normal and expected and
>beautiful to listen to, kinda like that old grandma's
>clock you busted when you was a little pants crapper, mikey.
>
>>  Any hints on how to fool people that it actually works?
>
>Oh, you're talking about human health? Forget it. You've
>got to start with DOG STUDIES to get past the fda approval
>thing first, before you can even think of trying to sell it for
>people... as I've done.
>
>> Thanks!
>
>Yeah mikey, my machine adjusted a little differently can
>cure hyperactivity in kids, and I've got other learning
>programs to piggy back on it as well..., when the time
>is right.
>
>The BIOSOUND Scientific Elves have been working
>overtime, mikey.
>
>Know HOWE COME, mikey? Cause they LOVE
>helping dogs and enabling people and their dogs
>to enrich their LIVES together, mikey.
>
>That's why I'm willing to blow a sale to get someone
>into studying my FREE Wits' End Dog Training Method
>manual, mikey. That costs me three of four sales a week
>sometimes, because I tell them they can address all of
>their dog behavior problems using the techniques in
>my FREE Wits' End Dog Training Method manual, mikey.
>
>Know HOWE COME, mikey?
>
>Jerry wants PEOPLE to treat their dogs properly mikey.
>Jerry don't hurt and KILL dogs to train them like you and
>your pals do, mikey.
>
>All's I've been doing is compiling hundreds of satisfied
>customers, earning an exemplary business reputation,
>and establishing perfect credit in order to manufacture
>MILLIONS of Doggy Do Right (And Kitty Will And A
>ROOSTER Did And A Cockatoo Or Two Did Too)
>Machines BEFORE I even mention that with some
>modifications there's hope for it's application in
>children and ADULTS suffering from adhd, GOOD BUDDY.
>
>And you KNOW me man. I'VE ALREADY TESTED IT
>OUT. My modified machine works to calm hyperactivity
>in people too, mikey.
>
>And yeah, I'm sittin on top of the world.
>
>Jerry says:
>HOWE'S the baby's seizures?
>
>parentadlitem says:
>better
>
>Jerry says:
>got any idea how much better?
>
>parentadlitem says:
>not really
>
>parentadlitem says:
>she doesn't do em here that i see
>
>Jerry says:
>amazing
>
>Jerry says:
>when's the last time she seized with you?
>
>parentadlitem says:
>weeks ago?
>
>Jerry says:
>but before the machine it was daily?
>
>parentadlitem says:
>every minute!
>
>Jerry says:
>does her mom use it at her HOWES?
>
>parentadlitem says:
>yup
>
>parentadlitem says:
>i yelled at her about it
>
>Jerry says:
>ask her when's the last time she saw a seizure for me
>
>parentadlitem says:
>k . she's sleepin now, ill talk to her tonight, she's comin over
>
>Jerry says:
>yeah... that's pretty good stuff
>
>parentadlitem says:
>yup
>
>parentadlitem says:
>i love mine
>
>parentadlitem says:
>no barkin the neighborhood at all anymore
>
>parentadlitem says:
>ever
>
>Jerry says:
>right
>
>parentadlitem says:
>once in a blue moon some distant dog will bark
>
>parentadlitem says:
>but all the neighbors dogs are quiet
>
>Jerry says:
>when you hear that distant dog throw the machine on
>
>parentadlitem says:
>we do
>
>parentadlitem says:
>it's really rare though
>
>=================
>
>




More information about the Neur-sci mailing list