Explain this SERENDIPITY and these COINCIDENCES?

The_Sage theeSage at azrmci.net
Sat Jul 19 21:47:55 EST 2003


>Reply to article by: also_ran50 at hotmail.com (Lee W)
>Date written: 19 Jul 2003 01:33:56 -0700
>MsgID:<75157959.0307190033.a3445c6 at posting.google.com>

>I was adopted at 6 months, having been taken from my biological mother
>at 6 weeks. Apparently I did see my mother, who was 14 at the time.

>At 19 I developed an obsession with a girl, a fellow student aged 17.
>I'll called her Z.

>At 23 I fell in love with X, who I met through a music paper advert
>which I placed. We only sent each other letters for the first 3
>months.

>At 31, last year, I traced my mother, and she looks like an exact mix
>of X and Z: more like Z from the side, especially when she smiles;
>more like X from the front, inclusing eyes, chin, nose. It's really
>spooky. I had thought that my bond with X was related to our
>interests, and that my interest in Z was down to our outsider
>behaviour.

>This isn't simply a case of a man going for women who remind him of
>his mother. I've seen that happen with a friend: he saw her in a shop
>and approached her, which is completely different. I hadn't seen X,
>the only respondant to my advert in an internationally distributed
>magazine. I have been quite a rational thing, having therapy and doing
>a degree, in English and Philosophy, in my teens and 20s instead of
>plumping for Dionysian excess.

That is neither serendipity nor a coincidence. People are attracted
most by other people who look like themselves. You also have some
similiarities to your mother and father, so if you naturally seek out
a woman who looks like yourself, that woman will have characteristics
of your mother and father...but you selectively ignore everything
about this woman except for her similarity to your long lost mother
because your long lost mother is what is most meaningful to you.

>Also, while looking for my mother, I rang one number I found of a
>woman who had the same first name, and she turned out to be the
>cleaner of my mother's childhood home.

That is a coincidence, but so what?

>So how does this work? (I feel like some character in an allegorical
>novel, tricky stuff in the postmodern age.) What happened here? Is it
>a message/gesture from 'God'? I've vaccilated between agnosticism and
>atheism since losing Christian faith, for all the right educated
>reasons, I think, in 1989.

>Am I missing something?

Don't try to read more into this than there actually is.

The Sage

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