'Catch-22'

KP-PC k.p.collins at worldnet.att.net%remove%
Tue May 6 00:13:54 EST 2003


This msg is just my thoughts on my current circumstances.

"KP-PC" <k.p.collins at worldnet.att.net%remove%> wrote in message
news:mimta.66651$cO3.4520479 at bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
| [...]
| I admit it. I don't know how to accomplish that end.
| [...]

The case actually is that, since I've already done everything that
should've worked, I don't know what else to try, and I'm really
'tired' of having tried thousands of times with what should've
worked.

There's a side-benefit in all of this 'failed'-effort stuff, though -
it's how I've been able to study, so deeply, the 'constraining'
action of 'coersed-consensus' stuff.

Anyway, the stuff I'm 'whining' about is some of why the "Terrible
Times" were Terrible. Doing the work was hard, but was really-hard
was that I was aware of the Consequences inherent in 'becoming
separate' - if one is 'separate' from others, the others' nervous
systems have no opportunity to achieve TD E/I-minimization with
respect to one - so, when one does venture into folks midst, folks
experience TD E/I(up) as a result of one's merely being a
relatively-'unfamiliar' stimulus set to the others - the result is
that the others tend, strongly, to 'move away from' one.

It's 'funny' - it's why I've been 'pushing' so hard - if I don't
'break-through before I go homeless, I'm 'finished' - there'll be no
'coming-back' from that 'abyss' [speaking of 'abysses' :-]

I'm not hanging me head, though - to 'walk through the fire', knowing
beforehand what's in-it, in order to do what needs to be done, is
something with respect to which one needn't hang one's head - no
matter who doesn't understand.

I just wish someone would meet with me in-person.

But there's stuff that's been going on - like the floppy disks
failing on four of my PCs, one after the other, each time with the
same failure-'signature' - that's just too-'strange' to chaulk up to
meaningless 'coincidence' - and other stuff.

So, until someone will meet with me in-person, I'll continue seeing
things as being too-'strange'.

As things stand, I'm just looking for stuff, in NDT, that doesn't
'push' folks too hard [relatively-small TD E/I)up) and all that], and
discussing it 'with' whoever it is who receives these msgs.

This's about the best I can do with respect to Declaring where I
stand.

It's a small thing that I ask of folks. no?

Yup.

K. P. Collins

--
"Schmitd! Schmitd! Ve vill build a Shapel!"






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