A Sorrow-Filled anniversary

kenneth collins kenneth.p.collins at worldnet.att.net
Thu May 26 23:48:49 EST 2005

1946-05-23: Patent filed in US for the H-Bomb.
[Today PC].

Haven't got anything to actually discuss, but I
thought I should "check-in".

If anyone 'wonders', I'm 'a thousand miles' deep-
into a Calculation.

Found a lot of neat stuff, but don't know, yet, if
I'm going to find what I've been looking for.

But I've already Verified Tapered Harmony, in
a newly-refined way.

[Talkin' to 'the wind' :-]

Thought for the day: You know you're way-out
at "the edge of things" when you 'sense' that, if
you do one more thing, you'll 'disappear' :-]

Translation: High-TD E/I maps to "biological
mass" extremely-thinly.

It's no "big deal", but, while on the job, earlier
today, and deep in thought I stepped on a con-
crete-slab-line beneath the carpet and it was
like I was stepping into a "swamp" -- real-
ly-sensitive-focus :-] Which is interesting, be-
cause it discloses =a= role of =primary sens-
ation= in the "cognitive-map-following" that's
involved in mental Calculation. Get it?

It happens to me, every once in a while, when
things rapidly "reprioritize" [AoK, Ap5] while
I'm deep-into mental-Calculation.

Looking-everywhere, Keenly -- into the Prob-
lem's stuff -- but, then, something happens with-
in one's external experiential environment, and
the "inertia" of the problem-solving "supersys-
tem configuration" [AoK, Ap5] [the "Keen"
sensitivity] lingers, a bit, as the supersystem
rapidly reconfigures itself with respect to the
external stuff -- so there's a fleeting intermingl-
ing of the "internal" and external focuses.

There's big-Opportunity, in this stuff, for stal-
wart Experimentalists [because it lays-bare
the transitional dynamics inherent in "super-
system configuration".] Get it?

Part of it is that these 'days' my whole nervous
system is"breathing a big sigh of relief" because
my Job is going well, and it seems that it'll be
sufficient to cover my needs.

"Survival giddiness" :-]

I'm reading a =really= good book, =The
Great Physicists From Galileo to Einstein=,
by George Gamow. It's Brilliantly-written,
and I'm enjoying it immensely.

Nothing I can discuss -- I'm working on
the other 'side' of the "95%" stuff.

Taking a vacation from trying to get stuff
across to folks [basically, because I'm
still working to find my rythm with respect
to having to keep an "external" schedule. I
can still do my work, but there's not enough
'time' left to "translate". It's a "relief" to
have an 'excuse' :-]

My experience has been that I eventually
get-around-to discussing this sort of stuff,
in condensed ways, after some intervening

[Part of the "delay" stems from the fact that
my PCs are "monitored", so I've got to
"translate" the Problems I'm working on so
that what's going-on on my PCs doesn't give-
away what I'm working-on. [My doing this
goes back to my Childhood -- had to "hide"
what I was doing until I could do it Flawlessly,
else I "caught-hell" :-]

Never knew, then, that this "training" would
turn-out to be so Useful.

Thanks, Dad, Love, ken

[Come to think of it, that's probably why
AoK came out of me, whole, in about six

Is that "good" or "bad"?

I mean, wanting to spare folks the "travail",
I worked-the-Problem, and gave-the-Solu-
tion, whole.

But it's like when I was back in high school,
taking "tests". I'd, typically, just write the
answers -- and my Teachers'd "deduct" be-
cause I didn't "show my work" :-]

How does one "show one's work", except
in the Answers, when one works in ways
that no one else understands?

So I give the Answers.

Then folks "tune" the "way things are
supposed to be" to 'coincide' with the

And then say they "knew it all along" :-]

"Teachin' from the back row."

It's Sad that that's the only way a man
can actually do what =needs= to be done.

Guess that's the Real "thought for the

Anyway, this.s my trying-to-be-Gentle
way of explaining how and why I Saw
that "prejudice toward the familiar" really
Needed to be generally-understood.

I'd've "shown my work" if doing so didn't
routinely result in a lot of B. S. 'criticism'
with respect to how I was "supposed" to
arrive at "the Answer" to Problems.

And, if one rubs-up-against such a g'zillion
times, the underpinning dynamics get one's
attention in a way that's fired by what one's

So I've been Fixing all that.

Or, at least, tryin' to, with the 'results' being
not unlike the way things were in high school.

Q. How does one "show one's work"
when no one will meet with one, in-person?

I mean, when one's work is not already
in the books?

A. Arduously.

And then you die.

And it, eventually, makes it into the Books.

How many Scholars've Died in this 'way'?


Get it?

Guess I'm still 'south' of being "healed".

But thought I should "check-in".

k. p. collins

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