women in meeting

Tue Jul 27 20:48:13 EST 1993

In article <23114g$41v at mozz.unh.edu> K_GHOSHROY at unhh.unh.edu (Kajal   Ghoshroy)
>Hello to all those eyes out there,
>Thanks for making this network so much informative & interesting this
>past week. Frankly though, I am on the verge of my first national
>meeting & am getting quite nervous after reading all your experiences!
>Can you guys give me some tips as to what I should be aware of, careful
>of etc. on these meetings?

I do not think that meetings are any different from everyday life. There is no
reason to fear that you will be harassed more than usually, the only difference
is that you would expect meetings to be strictly professional and it turns out
not to be the case. Luckily, people at meetings are usually intellectuals and
will understand if you tell them that you do not wish their company. Like you,
I am also not very experienced, but I went to my first conference a few months
ago. I was looking forward to learn and meet people, and maybe even make new
friends. The first evening was a big disappointment - people were coming in
groups, laughing, greeting each other, my professor was talking to other big
guys, and I felt very lonely. If I were not so shy I could of made friends with
other grad. students, but this way, I had to wait for other people to notice me
and start a conversation. I did not have to wait for long. Most people would
find my accent peculiar ( I come from Europe) and would like to talk to me.
Some of them liked it so much that they followed me around for the rest of the
meeting trying to impress me with their knowledge. Now when I think of it I
remember that they were all guys, but I am so used to it in everyday life, that
I would not notice it if I had not read the posting in women in biology. I must
admit that I learned a lot, but sometimes I would be asking myself- why are
they trying so hard to impress me with their knowledge, why don't they try out
the big guys? Except for being boring they were not a threat, only once I had
to tell to a guy- Look, I did not understand what you said in the last hour and
a half, I am really tired and I want to go now. 
I did not realize it than, but now I see that I did not make any friends with
other women at the meeting. My advice is don't be shy, try to talk to people
you want to talk to, do not wait for them to chose you.I am looking forward for
the next meeting, except next time I will be smarter.


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