getting emotional

klier at iscsvax.uni.edu klier at iscsvax.uni.edu
Fri Jul 30 17:44:35 EST 1993


In article <CAzuCo.KK6 at usenet.ucs.indiana.edu>, ejohnson at silver.ucs.indiana.edu (Liz Johnson) writes:
> In article <1993Jul30.184506.18198 at ncsu.edu> samodena at csemail.cropsci.ncsu.edu (S. A. Modena) writes:
>>
>>My experience is that women crying in the academic/scientific work place is
>>not as rare as it ought to be....and some (like me) regard it as
>>outright blackmail behavior.
> 
> Some advice for the undergrad who asked about it: if you're like me,
> once the initial dam bursts, you will be able to stop crying and say
> whatever was on your mind. A suggestion I've heard is to say "could
> you excuse me for a moment" and then go someplace close where you can
> regain control. At that point you can re-enter the conversation and 
> apologize by saying "I'm sorry I had to leave, but this subject
> is very important to me, because ..." and you're off on what you
> wanted to say. Trying to stay in the conversation while crying is
> probably not good because it makes people uncomfortable.

I agree: Liz's advice is very sound.

Steve, a few years ago I was up for nearly 48 hours straight with a
suicidal friend.  I stopped in to the lab to get someone to cover
my night lab...  I started crying when asking a male colleague to
cover for me, just out of the sheer stress of the situation.  His
reaction: he handed me a box of kleenex, then said he felt honored 
that I wasn't afraid to cry in front of him.  I doubt very much if
he felt blackmailed.  

Kay Klier



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