back to kids

C017000 C017 at MUSIC.ULAVAL.CA
Wed Sep 29 08:06:00 EST 1993


In article <CE19z2.Cz0 at news.otago.ac.nz> craigm at sanger.otago.ac.nz (Craig Marshall) writes:
>This is a vexed question and one which I think has no real answers.
 ... (stuff deleted)

 I do
>think that it is always easier to find reasons for not having kids now
>than it is to decide to go ahead. In many ways an "accident" is easier
>to manage as the decision is made for you. I think that you will
>always cope, often much more so and better than you had imagined that
>you would. It is critical that you have a supportive partner of some
>sort, someone to share in the decision making and to talk to. It helps
>if they do some of the work too! I don't think this necessarily need
>be a father/husband, although I would imagine this would be the usual
>case.
>
>        Craig Marshall           craigm at sanger.otago.ac.nz or
>        Biochemistry Department  bioc07 at otago.ac.nz
>        University of Otago      Phone 64 3 479 7849    
>        P.O. Box 56              Fax   64 3 479 7866    
>        Dunedin, New Zealand                                    
>.
>.

I certainly agree with Craig Marshall that an accident is easier
to manage since the decision is made for you. My husband and I were
both writing our Masters thesis, and wondering when we would get
our family started. I was looking towards a PhD. and my husband
was hoping to get a job after his thesis and finally, Nature took
care of the question, I became pregnant. I can tell you the year
our daughter was born was almost hell. My husband abandonned his
masters due to helth reasons, and I had to start my PhD when
the baby was only 2 months because we needed the scolarship money
to live. It wasn't easy but we got through the first year, and
finally my husband got a job related to his studies, which he is really
glad, my thesis is a little bit behind schedule but I'll manage
to catch up and we are really glad we had this little angel to
brighten our days.
The thing I had difficulty adjusting to was to put our child
in daycare five days a week, meaning I only have two whole days
per week to enjoy seeing my girl grow up.
I guess having a child while you are still a student will never
be easy but people will always find ways to get through it and
enjoy parenthood.

M.-C. B.
Dept. of Biology
U. Laval



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