making compromises

Leslie Kay lmk2 at garnet.berkeley.edu
Wed Aug 10 11:01:12 EST 1994


Hello all,

Something has started to wear on me in the ongoing discussion of 
when/if to have children.  I know that this conversation does not
occur as much among my male colleagues, and I know that the old
way was that the male partner was the professor and the female 
partner stayed home, raised the kids, and so forth.  I also  know
that for many people this is no longer the case.  So, why does it
impact so greatly on women to have children in their careers?  Is
it really the case that the male spouses are either unwilling to
help as much as is necessary to raise the children, or that all
or most couples are both in high-powered careers?  I can't say yet,
because I do not have children (yet), but why do so many women 
balance the direction of their careers on whether or not they are
having children?  Is it true that priorities change so much after
childbirth that the career is suddenly not so important (something
I've heard many women say), and if so is this a physiological thing,
since men don't tend to say this as much?  

Are their any women out there who have what they consider high-
powered careers and have a supportive spouse who takes care of most
of the household stuff, including childcare?  Just wondering if the
old paradigm works in the opposite direction.

Leslie Kay
lmk2 at garnet.berkeley.edu




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