women and men in science etc

MRafto mrafto at aol.com
Tue Dec 12 01:28:24 EST 1995


neo,

     I am so happy you brought that point up.  As I read through these
posts (I am new to this group), I realized how very lucky I am.  My
husband, while not "unambitious", runs his own business out of an office
in our home.  I am in the middle of a postdoc which I know you are all
well aware requires hard work.  I usually come home to dinner on the table
and the laundry and shopping done, and "contribute" by cleaning up after
dinner.  We usually set sunday mornings aside to do heavy duty housework
together (gives a whole new meaning to Sunday morning worship!).
      We do not yet have children (Okay, I guess this is where all the
mothers out there discount what I have to say--kind of like being
discriminated against), but were "planning" to have children after my
postdoc (yes, I am planning a very successful academic career, thankyou
very much).  Due to medical complications, we probably cannot wait much
longer if I want to bear a child--so we are now faced with starting a
family while my husband is starting a business and I am in the middle of a
postdoc--not the best of circumstances.  Because of having to make a
formal decision about whether or not to "go for it", we have had extensive
discussion about our respective parental roles. 
     I agree that we cannot entirely anticipate how dramatic of an impact
having a child will be on our lives-- but we are certainly trying to
envision it as much as possible-- and I have never respected or
appreciated my husband more in my life.  He knows how important my career
is to me and realizes that his career is much more condusive to a "Mr.
Mom" lifestyle than mine is to a "Dr. Mom".  I know it will be hard, but I
also have faith enough in my marriage, my ability and my colleagues (both
male and female) to know it will work.
     So I guess the longwinded answer is yes--some men (and I'd like to
thing many men) are certainly willing to tow the line when is comes to
childcare.  I am very happy that I found one of them.

                                              Becky           
       





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