Should I change my surname?
mary_songster_alpin at ncsu.edu
Wed Feb 8 18:07:48 EST 1995
I am currently a Ph.D. student in veterinary microbiology/virology. When I
got married in July of 1993, I decided to hyphenate my maiden name (Songster)
with my husband's name (Alpin). Songster-Alpin sounded good together and I
didn't feel like taking on a totally new name. However, hyphenating was the
worst mistake I could have made. NOBODY respected my decision. All of my
mail is addressed as Mary Alpin, Mrs. Alpin ect. Even my insurance company
(all of the bills are in my name since I had access to the phone during the
day) changed my name. They claimed that nobody would know where to look for
our records. That excuse made me mad. I get strange looks, blank looks ect.
when I say or spell my name. What really gets me is I like it. I think it's
unique and elegant. However, I have found that most people have a problem
with husbands and wives having different names. Mine being 50% similar only
compounds the problem. If I could do it again, I would have kept my own name.
This wouldn't solve most of the problem but people would probably think I
wasn't married and would be reluctant to call me Mrs. My advice: keep your
own name. Marriage isn't about names, it's about love.
Mary S. Songster-Alpin Mary_Songster_Alpin at ncsu.edu
Dept. of Micro., Path., and Parasit.
North Carolina State University
College of Veterinary Medicine
4700 Hillsborough St.
Raleigh, NC 27606
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