Should I change my surname?

Catherine L. Wallace cwallace at post.its.mcw.edu
Thu Feb 9 21:38:52 EST 1995


	I just am going through the first year of married life.  I did not
change my name.  My reasons, which I am still constantly explaining.  I am
28 years old not 18 and my own self, have a career in the health industry
and the equine industry as a horse judge and trainer.  It cost alot of extra
cash to change all the documents over.  (I have had friends complain of the
hassels this has caused with credit etc. ) And I was damn if I would be the
5th Mrs. Henkes.(ever see the 5 Mrs. Buchannans??)  My husbands family is
very confused and upset, but learning to live with this ( they are also not
use to a woman whom is a feminist and career oriented) My mother always
raised my very liberal,but afterwards is now the worst critic(go figure)
We had sacificly asked the mister to say BOB and Cathy (he said Bob and
CathyHenkes and if looks could kill I would have I was very upset!!) I
correct my husband when he just introduces me as cathy that I am Catherine
Wallace; not just his dammn wife( I am a bit of a rebel that the Boy Scouts
of America(his employer) will just have to get use to)

But I am so glad that I did not give in to the family bickering; My husband
has be transferred and I am looking for new emplyoment and my horse career
and people know the name instead of having to explain "that I used to be..."

After 4 weddings this last year, I understand why alot of my friends
changed names.  They do not have career, jobs and they want to be a wife.
I did not ever plan of getting married and believe my spouse and I are
partners and lovers.   
(please pardon my typing, but this gets me upset at some peoples ignorance
and the frustration that my family has dealt me)
I deal with infertility, we have alot of professional couples whom seek our
assistance.  Alot with different names.  This works fine for us(only the
50yr old tech has a problem at times but is understanding)Just do not, I
repeat do not hypenate.  This is a real hassel and not worth it.  Follow
your heart.  If this man is your beloved than even if he does not agree he
should accept your decision, its your name,life and career.  Not anyone
elses.  



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