controlling my temper

SHOVA RANI DHAR x9dz at UNBSJ.CA
Tue Feb 28 14:31:18 EST 1995


In article <3ivhdi$ead at niven.ksc.nasa.gov> RuffeL at bonsmtp.ksc.nasa.gov (RuffeL) writes:
>From: RuffeL at bonsmtp.ksc.nasa.gov (RuffeL)
>Subject: controlling my temper
>Date: 28 Feb 1995 16:01:54 GMT

>I work at Kennedy Space Center, doing hydroponic research, 
>I have to deal with ego's that are unbelieveable.
>How does one cope with PhD's egos and the way they
> want everything done is a weird ways.
> I have a BS degree in Horticulture,
> I also work with a few people who have there Masters degree, They are a 
>fantastic to work with. 

>The project that I am working is called CELSS. 
>There are about 25 people on this p
>project 4 women and the rest are men. Pretty bad odds.
>It's so hard to gain respect 
>from them, They feel that they know more
>and That we should just tend to the plants. when one of us does speak
>out then we are considered BITCHS or just hard to work with. NO winning. 

>How does one deal with this EGO trip they are on.....????!!!


My advice to you is to do YOUR work.  If that means tending the plants, then 
do so and do it well.  If you are on equal educational footing with the men 
in your group then do not let them push you around AT ALL!!!  If they assume 
more intelligence because they outrank you degree wise there are many ways 
to proceed. 1)Do not let the B**ch title bother you.  Some of the most 
respected women are  called this because society has no easy title for 
women who assert themselves. A man with equal assertiveness would be called 
ambitious or some other positive qualifier. 
            2) The best way to deal with egos is to have one of your own.  
Don't be afraid to blow your own horn now and then.  If you have success in 
something let them know you are damn good at what you do.  If you are proved 
to be right over another's opinion don't say," I told you so ". Instead use 
your overlooked input as ammo to be heard the next time and don't ever let 
them forget it.
            3) If you are right then there is no disputing it.  Even the 
most aggravating chauvinist PhD has to admit that you have a point.  Then 
there lies the test of character.  If someone knows that your points are 
valid and still stone walls you, then you know them for what they are.  And 
I for one have no problem pointing out such weaknesses in others. There 
will always be someone out there who silently sides with you.  Don't try to 
win the "war" outright, just gather your support slowly.  Cool heads will 
prevail.  
            4) PhD is not a synonym for GOD.  They are only human and 
,unfortunately, often have terrible interpersonal/communication skills.  
Never let opportunities to relate to one another pass you by.  If you can 
find some common ground SOMEWHERE use it to build  rapport.  Often 
the big wigs are so used to their ivory towers that they forget how to be 
normal. Show them that you think of them as fellow workers who happen to 
have spent more money for their education.



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