Children and Careers

RGyure rgyure at aol.com
Sat Jan 21 10:44:28 EST 1995


Deb (dclauswa.gas.uug.arizona.edu) wrote:

: > I am 32 years old and just finishing my Ph.D.  I am married and we
both would
: > like kids and I feel that the clock is beginning to tick faster and
faster.
: > I am getting quite concerned over this issue because I want to have
children

I am a 39-year old woman, and a tenure-track professor of biology at a
small college. I am also the mother of a 7-year old daughter who came
along as a "surprise" early on in my career at what I considered to be a
very bad time. 
I AM SO GLAD I WENT THROUGH WITH MY PREGNANCY!!  Yes, it was difficult to
adjust-- she changed everything for her husband and I, but we simply
adjusted. I stayed home with her for 6 months, and my husband took a leave
of absence for 3 months. From the age of 9 months she has been in full
time day care of some sort, except during the summers when I have more
freedom because of my position. She is an absolutely delightful, bright,
loving, and sensitive child-- also exuberant and totally happy. At home,
she gets oodles of attention from her dad and I, and other family members
and friends. I don't think she has "lost" anything being in day care,
although some people will try to tell you that. In my view, what children
need is good care and guidance from an adult-- so they learn what they
need to learn-- and lots of time to play with other children-- that's
exactly what she has always gotten at day care and in school. The care and
guidance does not have to be from me, the mother-- throughout the entire
day, and I could not have exposed her to so many experiences and different
play pals. Besides, I am a happier and more fulfilled person by being out
in the world teaching biology and making my contribution in that way. 
Or family is very happy, and this message is an encouragement to HAVE A
CHILD NOW. I might also add that when I tried to have a second child in my
mid thirties I struggled through a miscarriage and infertility. I AM So
GRATEFUL I HAD CLAIRE ALREADY! We are now looking into adoption. Don't
wait-- your career can be molded to accommodate your desire to have a
family. It's not easy, but you can do it. Good luck!



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