just wondering....

Ann Magnuson bcbpam at lundberg.gu.se
Mon Mar 6 14:36:12 EST 1995


schin at worm.hooked.net (Stacey Chin) wrote:
>
> Hi! i'm new to this group (sorta just happened on it one day...:) 
> seems to be an interesting place. If this isn't the proper place to post
> this my apoligies in advance. Anyways here goes.  
>  
> I'm a senior in engineering and I just recently noticed that my ideas and
> thoughts just get ignored, but when a male to state the same idea it gets
> noticed. Has this happened to anyone else? If so how did you handle it?
> (Lots of lab classes and it gets more frustrating by the day.)             
> 
>                                     Thanks in advance for any help! 
>                                         -just me- 
>                                             Stace

Well, the postings from K.Klier and R.J. Mason-Gamer (hope you've read them!)
really have got all the info you need.I just wanted to give you some additional
advice, it works at least for me:

1.Start training yourself in self-assertiveness in areas that feel less important,
and where you are sure you can be on top whatever happens. That way you can get
used to using more 'male' language and style of expressing yourself, without
'risking' (as you may think you are) losing face about something you *really* 
care about. When you don't have to worry about getting the technical details 
right you can concentrate on peoples reactions, and learn how it feels when they 
are listening and agreeing.

2.Practice belly-breathing. It will help you relax and give you a deeper, more 
confident voice.

3.If you're unsure about how to evaluate your own ideas,try them on someone you 
know and trust and who is senior to you. Hearing a senior scientist reply:
'Actually nobody knows, it's one of the big research issues and I'm glad you 
recognized the problem.' can really boost your ego. Ego boosting is the issue 
here, have at least one a day!

Good Luck!

Ann



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