Marriage/Name Change

Pati VITT at UConnVM.UConn.Edu
Fri Apr 5 14:44:47 EST 1996


In article <4k3l3g$rrk at news.cuny.edu>
jcoleman at msvax.mssm.edu writes:
 
>
>In article <4k113i$n90 at ds2.acs.ucalgary.ca>, sfraser at acs5.acs.ucalgary.ca (Sherri Fraser) writes:
>>
>>Hello everybody,
>>       I've had this conversation here with several women.  I
>>changed my name when I was an undergraduate, so for me there was
>>no publication record to be  concerned about.  At the time I was
>>married, it wasn't very clear to me why I wanted to change my
>>name other than I loved my husband, but I never got along well
>>with my father.  So for me, I took the name I wanted and
>>discarded the one I no longer wanted. (BTW my husband didn't care
>>what name I took).  Later on I had a discussion with somebody in
>>the lab I work in as a graduate student and she summed it up for
>>me very well.  What is the difference in taking your husband's
>>name or keeping your father's?  They are both men's names.  For
 
My parents were divorced when I was a year or so, for good reasons, I don't hav
e much contact with my biological father.  And yes, it *is* his last name, howv
er, in my mind it doesn't really belong to my father, but to my mother.  When s
he divorced, and then remarried, she kept the same last name...because it had b
it had bcome her identity.  My last name is my *mother's* name as a
result.  To honor my family, my identity and mostly my mother, I will
keep my name.  I believe I would feel the same if she had gone back to
her maiden name when she divorced and then kept it when she remarried.
But then, I come from a matriarchy which has lasted for 4 generations.
May my child be proud of this heritage.
Although, I do choose to give my child his/her father's last name
because he is an only child.
Pati Vitt
VITT at UCONNVM            (BITNET)
vitt at uconnvm.uconn.edu  (Internet)
"...the seeds of evolution...
 Have we forgotten we're all children?
 Children of a family tree that's longer than a centipede,
 that started long ago, when you and I were only love."
 
  -- The Moody Blues



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