Marriage/Name Change

Robbin L. G. Long c638414 at
Fri Apr 5 11:41:49 EST 1996

sfraser at (Sherri Fraser) wrote:
  At the time I was
>married, it wasn't very clear to me why I wanted to change my
>name other than I loved my husband, but I never got along well
>with my father.  So for me, I took the name I wanted and
>discarded the one I no longer wanted. (BTW my husband didn't care
>what name I took).  Later on I had a discussion with somebody in
>the lab I work in as a graduate student and she summed it up for
>me very well.  What is the difference in taking your husband's
>name or keeping your father's?  They are both men's names.  For
>me it was easier and more pleasurable to take the name I chose.

Amen to that.  I did not really change my name when I 
married, I just tacked my husband's on to it.  My full name 
is "Robbin Lynn Gibson Long", no hyphen.  I did it for a 
myriad of reasons; first, I felt like it promoted family 
unity; second, I was not raised by, nor am I particularly 
attached to, my natural father; third, I have to admit to a 
streak of rebelliousness against our anglo-saxon biased 
beaurocracy which seems to insist on the use of three name 
fields (hyphenating my name just seemed to feed into this). 
 For this reason, I insist that all four names are used and 
am in a war with the Social Security Administration over 
this. A pretty small thing to rebel against, I admit, but I 
think the three name field thing is culturally biased.

My hypothetical children (as I am not committed to the idea 
of having any, these are very hypothetical) will bear their 
father's name, be they male or female. Why?  Well, you have 
ample physical witness to who your mother is; the paternal 
surname is just a mother's way of publically declaring 
(admitting?) who the father is.  Not foolproof, obviously, 
but tradition usually has pretty pragmatic social roots, 
even if currently outdated and unnecessary.



  "Women who think they are equal to men, lack ambition"

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