Marriage/Name Change

Judi Lapsley Miller Judi.Lapsley.Miller at vuw.ac.nz
Sat Apr 6 22:15:45 EST 1996


Robbin L. G. Long wrote:
> Amen to that.  I did not really change my name when I
> married, I just tacked my husband's on to it.  My full name
> is "Robbin Lynn Gibson Long", no hyphen.  I did it for a
> myriad of reasons; first, I felt like it promoted family
> unity; second, I was not raised by, nor am I particularly
> attached to, my natural father; third, I have to admit to a
> streak of rebelliousness against our anglo-saxon biased
> beaurocracy which seems to insist on the use of three name
> fields (hyphenating my name just seemed to feed into this).
>  For this reason, I insist that all four names are used and
> am in a war with the Social Security Administration over
> this. A pretty small thing to rebel against, I admit, but I
> think the three name field thing is culturally biased.

Yay! I'm not the only one. I hate hyphenation so I decided to go the 
four name route as well. The major benefit for me is that it makes it 
easy to go by all three names: my maiden name, my husbands name, or 
both. In particular, his surname (Miller) is common whereas mine 
(Lapsley) is not. So when I want anonymity (sp?) I go by Miller. My 
'professional' name, however, is unusual so hopefully memorable :-)

As for changing my name - its been a bloody hassle to put it mildly! 
People always want me to put the hyphen in - and will even 'correct' 
forms that I have filled out!! Went through three Visa cards before they 
got it right - when I told them there was no hyphen they tried it with 
no space either (duh!). Banks were the worst. I don't use a title either 
which stuffs up their silly databases. Oh, and my first name is a 
variant spelling too. No wonder I cringe when people ask me my name. 
Maybe I'm just a bit contrary :-)
 
> My hypothetical children (as I am not committed to the idea
> of having any, these are very hypothetical) will bear their
> father's name, be they male or female. Why?  Well, you have
> ample physical witness to who your mother is; the paternal
> surname is just a mother's way of publically declaring
> (admitting?) who the father is.  Not foolproof, obviously,
> but tradition usually has pretty pragmatic social roots,
> even if currently outdated and unnecessary.

If fate ever have me go down this path, I guess the kids would go by 
Miller, with Lapsley as a middle name - then they can choose what they 
want.

Judi Ann Lapsley Miller (and proud of it!)

-- 
____________________________________________________________________
Judi Lapsley Miller           http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~trills/index.htm
Psychophysics Lab      http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~trills/psycho/index.htm



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