high self-esteem and aggression

[Kathie T. Hodge]

I used to have bad problems with low self esteem.  Now that I've finally
got some (yay!), I find it really tough to walk the line between what
people perceive as offensive boasting versus simply expressing my
self-confidence.
I worry about this in interview situations.  I would like to be able to
express my confidence and pride in my work without getting labelled as a
snobby b** or braggart.  

When it was obvious that I had low self esteem, people around me were
pleased and supportive when I said anything that sounded confident.  I
sometimes wonder if having gotten used to all that support I just haven't
learned to express myself proudly yet humbly.

Then again, there seem to be different standards for men and women -- what
is considered obnoxious self-aggrandizement in women is just ordinary
self-confidence in men.  Anybody else notice this double standard?


Kathie Hodge
kh11 at cornell.edu