high self-esteem and aggression

Marcy Brown mbrown at BILBO.BIO.PURDUE.EDU
Tue Feb 27 22:10:36 EST 1996


Kathie Hodge kh11 at cornell.edu wrote

>I used to have bad problems with low self esteem.  Now that I've finally
>got some (yay!), I find it really tough to walk the line between what
>people perceive as offensive boasting versus simply expressing my
>self-confidence.
>I worry about this in interview situations.  I would like to be able to
>express my confidence and pride in my work without getting labelled as a
>snobby b** or braggart.  

I just recently experienced this worry when I went on my first-ever
interview for a tenure-track position at my alma mater.  Although I think
that I had an advantage in that I knew the people interviewing me, I second
guessed myself later, and wondered whether I had come across as being
confident or overconfident.  

It is extremely difficult to have your personal sensors on track with the
people you are meeting with, to know whether or not you are pitching
yourself too high or too low when it comes to self confidence.  I would
hope that in my daily interactions with friends and colleagues that I have
been able to gauge their reactions and react accordingly, and have been
able to fine-tune my responses.  Perhaps some would think that
second-guessing is a sign of reduced self esteem, in feeling as though one
must always do what the other is expecting.  Still, in the long run it is
probably a good thing, as it makes me and the other person more comfortable
and at ease in the interaction, and will go a long way in helping me
present myself.  

Marcy




Marcy Brown                                     
Department of Biological Sciences
Purdue University                                        
mbrown at bilbo.bio.purdue.edu         

"I see you over there, just clinging to the wall. Because they told you
like ivy you were bound to crawl.  But you kept looking up, girl, and I
know why.  You knew someday you were gonna touch the sky." John Hiatt





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