get on with it

M. Doreen Jones jones at SOVER.NET
Sat Jan 20 02:09:13 EST 1996


It is indeed a sad state of affairs when half the population feels that in 
order to succeed they must change their behavior to adapt to that of the 
other half...I'm just not comfortable with the whole thing. I was recently 
given a book "Playing Hardball" by Pat Heim which I would recommend to 
anyone trying to adapt to this behavior.  It has provided some insight.  
However, after 35 years I feel that because I want to succeed in my career I 
am being coerced into acting in ways that I find borderline unethical and 
simply arrogant.

I guess my final question to all is:  "Can one succeed in a career without 
playing hardball?"



>In article <199601190204.SAA28939 at franc.ucdavis.edu>,
>>eoshuster at UCDAVIS.EDU (Beth Shuster) wrote:
>>
>>> On 18 Jan 1996 15:58:41 -0800, p2158740 at acsusun.acsu.unsw.edu.au
>>> (Marguerite Evans) wrote:
>>> 
>>> ...snip...
>>> >Please stop flogging the dead horse and get on with it!
>>> 
>>>   For those of you new to the group - It is not unusual for discussions to
>>> last several weeks, or even as long as a month if the people are
>>> interested.  Nothing forces anyone to read all of the posts in a given
>>> thread if they get bored before the rest of the group.  Additionally,
>>> nothing stops anyone from starting a new thread (most of us are capable of
>>> following several).
>>> 
>>>   Given the busy lives of most of us, it is often difficult for everyone to
>>> keep up with the group every single day.  This is especially true after an
>>> extended holiday (I had over 73 messages waiting for me when I returned
>>> from break!).  Personally, I have found some of the contributions to the
>>> thread in the last few days to be very pertinent.
>>> 
>>> Beth
>>
>>
>>  I heartily agree with Beth. The thread on public comments by women being
>>ignored by certain men is precisely on topic for this group and is
>>unfortunately of extreme relevance to all. 
>>
>>  The comment from another poster (Eric) that women (all people, really)
>>should take pains to speak clearly and deliberately is a good one. Also, I
>>have memories of another thread (maybe here?) in which someone noted that
>>women tend to phrase comments hesitantly, or as questions. I've caught
>>myself doing it on occasion, and now try make an effort to sound confident
>>if I'm going to bother to say anything. Hesitant mannerisms can weaken the
>>impact of your comment (reaction: "If she's not sure of what she's saying,
>>why should I bother to listen?). I suggest that we should all solicit
>>comments on our speaking styles, both formal and informal, from
>>colleagues. 
>>
>>  Sorry, Marguerite, for invading your thread with the one about which you
>>were complaining, but you failed to raise a new topic to distract our
>>attention.
>>
>>      Pam Norton
>>
>>-- 
>>Pamela A. Norton, Ph.D.          Assistant Professor of Medicine
>>Thomas Jefferson University
>>Philadelphia, PA 19107           p_norton at lac.jci.tju.edu
>>
>>
>

Doreen
jones at sover.net




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