multiple moves

SL Forsburg susan_forsburg at
Fri Jun 14 14:34:35 EST 1996

A small digression about attitude first:

DK wrote:
> I like and take pride in being bitchy.  It has taken many years of
> development and I hope not to lose it.  I would hope fellow females
> would get the tongue in cheek or the rag and take it for what it is
> worth.  It may be time to go back to the predominate male groups where
> I can be myself.

I like and take pride in civil discourse, myself... 
If people on this board choose to be righteously bitchy or gratuitously
discourteous, they can, of course.  And no one is asking DK to be
other than she is.  But there are accepted ways of indicating humor to 
the diverse net audience.  In years of posting on usenet, I have seen
people misinterpret posts in every possible (and often unimaginable) way.
All that Attitude  does get  in the way of  understanding.   Which is 
rather counterproductive.

> Please do not e-mail me.  I consider that something for private
> correspondence only (generally if I'm going to criticize someone I do
> it in private - I did not consider my original post a criticism).  

(I didnt consider your original post a criticism either, BTW)  If you
reserve criticism for private email,  then why did you 
post the email criticism that you received from Beth in a public forum?

I thought the rest of DK's post was a good presentation of her point
of view.  
> If I did not make myself clear before, I will say it again.  A woman
> who has reached the level of education that she is in graduate school
> should be intelligent enough, mature enough and independent enough
> that she is able to take care of herself. ....(snip).....

She should be.  But while it is quite Darwinian to leave
her to stumble into the truth, I prefer to provide some pointers.
Although NO student I ahve taught will ever say I am a touchy-feely
handholder, I consdier it the supervisor's responsibility to provide
SOME guidance.  Frankly, given that every prospective graduate student
I meet thinks she is going to be a college professor, I'm begnning to
wonder if their undergrad advisors arent actively LYING to them.

There's a wide area between spoon feeding and abandonment, here.  I think
they should have an occassional nudge in the right direction.  

> As I said in one Email I sent, the majority of the faculty in our area
> are female.  All of them had to move to except the job.  All of them
> are married and all of their husbands found jobs one way or the other
> in the area within not a terrible length of time.  It wasn't easy.  No
> one expected it to be. 

 As another post-er said, life is hard. We make compromises.  That's how
it is.  DK's point is again well taken. Whether or not you like it, this 
how it is NOW and this is the environment you have to deal with NOW.
Deal with it, vent occasionally, and then try to improve it!

-- susan

Susan L Forsburg PhD
MBVL, The Salk Institute
susan_forsburg at

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