The posting that noone will read!

aloisia schmid a-schmi at uiuc.edu
Thu Jan 2 20:45:46 EST 1997


In article
<Pine.GSO.3.94.961231110707.25547A-100000 at morpheus.cis.yale.edu>, Jeanhee
Chung <jc363 at pantheon.yale.edu> wrote:

Dear jean,

     I am sorry about your dad and hope things go well for him.  And I thought
you would want to know that I read this onthe 2nd, so it was worth posting and
people DID read it.

     As I was in my last year of graduate school, my mom--who suffers from
degenerative joint disease, had to have a hip replacement.  So against my wishes
she had it done by our old family doctor who was affiliated with a dying
hospital (that closed its doors a few scant months later) instead of at a 
university hospital.  As a result she got inferior care from nurses who were
over-burdened temporaries, and also as a result, I lifted her in and out of 
bed the whole time.  Yeah, yeah, o.k., I have grown and I'm not a martyr 
anymore. That's not my point, and i DO have one!   I have always had a bad
back and lifting
mom's dead weight completely blew my disk and for the next three months I went
through unbelieveable hell---traction, chiropractors, physical therapists, 
crutches, braces, drugs, alternative therpies, drug over-doses, until 
finally, I started suffering paralysis and the surgeons agreed--I needed
to have 
the surgery.  With student health insurance that paid almost none of it!  (pre-
existing condition!)  At any rate, I was out of the lab, all told for about 
four months, and I got no work done while I was out at all.  I couldn't
read, I couldn't do anything.  But the surgery was a miracle cure and
within a week, I was back at the bench!  

      The point is this.  If my mom needed me I'd do it all again.  I
would do a few things differently, but part of wishing for that utopic
ideal of reasoanble working hours, and a normal life schedule is also
recognizing that we are parts of families and we love our families and
taking care of your father is more important right now than graduate
school,  and you will never regret doing it.  And you might be surprised
at how little impact it will have on your overall graduate education.  in
fact, it will teach you things you might never have expected to learn.  

      
      Don't be afraid to take a leave, but make it clear that it is jsut a
leave and tell the powers that be that that is what this is.  Accept help
from your friends.  Stop drinking caffeine.  Relax and learn.  This can be
a good thing....

                                           Alice

P.S.  I agreed with so much of what you wrote, except that I can't say
that I enjoy Wah Chen's postings....



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