How do you handle it?

paris paris at merck.com
Tue Jul 8 17:02:50 EST 1997


Kimberly Walker wrote:
> 
> I'm looking for information on how to deal with difficult men in your
> labspace......
> 
> How do you all deal with men who remark too much on physical attributes,
> cultural/racial differences, who exhibit racist/sexist behavior and are
> all-around jerks effectively?
> 
> Kim

I had the very same situation happen when I was working in a formulations 
lab in industry.  The guy was a sexist pig and would comment on my 
appearance every day and then top it off with offensive (I mean really 
disgustingly offensive jokes) at the time I was only 24 and didn't know 
how to deal with it until I spoke to another woman in another lab down 
the hall. She said stick up for yourself and tell him to shut up.

At first I would also recommend the "What do you mean by that" which will 
usually get you the answer of " What? Nothing I was only commenting or 
making a joke, what's your problem"

This is the point at which to come out and say it "Look you look like a 
real jerk by saying the things you say and I don't like it so if you want 
to keep on doing it take it somewhere else where shit can be appreciated 
cause all it does around here is stink. And if that isn't clear enough 
for you then you're so full of it that its shooting out your eyeballs and 
that's why you can't see it for what it is. So quit it with the offensive 
remarks and if you didn't know they were offensive now you do."

More than likely he'll get the message and lay off if he doesn't don't 
even tell him that you'll take it to your boss, just do it, but make sure 
you document it first cause it could come down to your word against his. 
Put it in your date book or on the computer the stuff that's been really 
offensive and show it as evidence if it has to come down to that.

Paris


       The contents of this message express only the sender's opinion.
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