Emotional reactions..

Linnea Ista lkista at UNM.EDU
Mon Jun 2 10:47:53 EST 1997


On 31 May 1997, Bruno Dechaux wrote:

> Dans l'article <Pine.A32.3.91.970528095712.816260E-100000 at musca.unm.edu>,
> lkista at UNM.EDU (Linnea Ista) a ecrit:
> 
> >violence, I think that I can safely say that my crying has somewhat less
> >severe implications than a man's expression of the same emotions
> >violently. No one has ever been killed by someone's tears. Certainly the
> 
> But injuring his spouse is not all men usual emotional's expression!
> I think only a fringe of men take such actions. But with a devastating
> effect! Because violent husbands are frequently violent fathers. And
> so on. Battered chidren become often battering fathers. And where
> physical/mental violence is, dialogue and communication are dead ... or
> inversely?
I think you are missing the point. I did not mean to imply that all men 
are abusers (and I have a little trouble with the implication here that 
the ones who are are not responsible for their actions, i.e. they were 
most likely abused themselves and by the time violence occurs all 
communinication has broken down, the last part is total b.s.! Some men 
feel they have the right to control their mate and that is where the 
violence comes in and as a surprisingly high number of women have 
experienced violence in an intimate relationship-- I forget the exact 
number -- it is not a mere fringe of men who perpetuate it).

Having said that, I think my point was it is personally more threatening 
and inappropriate from my stand point to have someone actively raging and 
threatening to hit something inanimate or not has much more potential for 
actually causing harm than someone who simply cries. I don't want to hang 
around to find out if this is one of the people who will lash out at 
another person.


> 
> >I think it is important to remember that sometimes violent expressions of
> >rage have real destructive results!
> 
> Indeed, yes.
> I dont reconize myself in the group of violent husbands. Nor in the group
> of violent people. And I envy women to be " authorized " by society to
> respond to stress, frustration and suffering by tears and violence.
> bd.
I did not say that women were "authorized by society to respond to stress 
etc. by violence." I think no one is justified to respond in this manner!


And if *you * want to cry go ahead, no one is stopping you!
Linnea



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