lkista at UNM.EDU
Wed May 28 11:00:48 EST 1997
On 28 May 1997, Robin Panza wrote:
> > So, why is venting "I'm angry, I feel violent" acceptable,
> > (no, violence would not be acceptable)
> > while venting "I'm frustrated, I feel like crying" unacceptable?
> > It seems both responses are irrational to some extent. One is
> > tradtionally male, while the other response is traditionally female. So,
> > is this sexism, or is there something deeper I'm missing?
> > -Sharon
> No, you got it right. Unacceptable but traditionally male behavior seems OK to
> many men, while a traditionally female reaction is not. I think many men are
> made very uncomfortable in the presence of tears. It is something that, to
> them, is an extreme reaction (how much would it take to make those men cry?)
> and they probably feel rather helpless in the face of this "alien" behavior.
> On top of that, it's considered "sissy" behavior. They understand and can
> empathise with desire to be violent, so have no trouble with hearing about it.
> Let me restate that I don't accuse all men of being this way, but many are. I
> think they are as bothered by crying as we are of violence.
I would like to add a caveat here. As someone who has survived domestic
violence, I think that I can safely say that my crying has somewhat less
severe implications than a man's expression of the same emotions
violently. No one has ever been killed by someone's tears. Certainly the
facial scar I sustained was not caused by someone's tears, rather by
I think it is important to remember that sometimes violent expressions of
rage have real destructive results!
More information about the Womenbio