embarrassment

Karen Allendoerfer ravena at cco.caltech.edu
Thu Oct 2 12:01:53 EST 1997


In article <6109o3$hpe at news.acns.nwu.edu>,
Gina Berardesco <g-berardesco at nwu.edu> wrote:
>aloisia schmid (a-schmi at uiuc.edu) wrote:
>
>> This went on for a good long time.  That evening we had our final meeting
>> dinner together and I drank quite a bit too much wine and said quite a few
>> things I regret.  One of the people at my table was quite prominent and
>> now I am mortified with embarrassment.  
>
>Ah! I did something similar at a meeting once. I was mortified for months
>afterwards. Fortunately everyone else was drinking, too, so I keep hoping
>they won't remember much of it. 

Do you ever notice how bigwigs will sometimes kid one another about
aspects of their past?  Sometimes it gets pretty embarrassing for
the target, but in the end it usually seems to be all in good fun,
and it serves to humanize people.  I've definitely heard, about various 
big names, that he/she used to be a real wild partyer, and isn't
that cool . . . . . (although
admittedly this is said more often in admiration about men than about
women.  I think there is a bit of the ugly old double standard at work,
here as elsewhere).

I would agree with Gina that as long as you didn't insult the person,
it's probably better just to forget about it, and let the story be
added to your own urban legend to be told when you are famous.  

And, although it's tempting, avoid drinking too much at meetings.  I
guess I was pretty naive in graduate school, but I was really surprised by how
much drinking goes on at meetings and short courses and the like.
It's easy to get caught up in the peer pressure and the natural 
desire for release and relaxation, especially if you're not expecting it.

Karen




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