marriage and name-changing

Julia Frugoli JFRUGOLI at BIO.TAMU.EDU
Wed Sep 3 12:17:00 EST 1997


>Haven't seen any debates about name-changing in quite a while.
>I'm planning a (U.S.) wedding in the spring.  I always assumed that I 
>*wouldn't* change my last name, but now I'm giving at least a little
>consideration.  One other idea that came up was to continue to use
>my current name professionally and a married name socially.  While the
>idea of two identities has some appeal, it seems like a paperwork
>nightmare.  
>I also thought of using Firstname M. Lastname Newlastname because I
>don't really want to be hyphenated.
>
>Anyone care to comment on their experiences?
>


Susan, I've beaten this one to death, but I wanted to comment on your 
professional/social split.  I find it impossible to use my husband's 
last name in social situation, because, quite frankly, half of them are 
professional as well.  Do I go to his department Christmas party as Mrs. 
Kurtz?  The what happens when I give a seminar in his department as Dr. 
Frugoli (which I'll be doing soon)?  It'd be very hard (especially here 
in the South) to get the Mrs. Kurtz image out of their minds-I am the 
only faculty spouse in his department with an advanced degree (assuming 
I get it!) and quite frankly, older faculty members have trouble with 
the idea (one suggested when I was first introduced that I "join the 
Faculty Wives club-they give such nice parties!"  I have other plans for 
my life).  The problem is probably not so bad in other places, but not 
only is two names a paperwork nightmare, it can become a social 
nightmare.  It suggests you are two people-the professional one and the 
"fun" one and I want them both to be the same person-ME!

This is a decision every woman makes for herself, but I commend you for 
thinking about it ahead of time!
Julia Frugoli
Dartmouth College

visiting grad student at
Texas A&M University
Department of Biological Sciences
College Station, TX 77843
409-845-0663
FAX 409-847-8805

"Evil is best defined as militant ignorance."
																										Dr. M. Scott Peck



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