best time etc

Caroline J. Walker walkerc at CLEMSON.EDU
Fri Jun 26 11:31:52 EST 1998


My kids are three years apart and we also agonized over the pros and cons
of having a second child.  To my amazement and delight, I found that having
a second child in may ways was not so much extra work!  We already had the
hardware we needed AND we knew what we were doing, so baby care was a
breeze.   The difference in taking care of an infant/toddler when your
parenting skills are already honed was phenomenal - and I think my youngest
is much more laid back and calmer because of it.  My older child was able
to "help out" when the baby was born and now (at 2 and 5) they play a lot
together and leave me time to cook etc.  The playing together aspect has
been going for quite a while, and even when my son was an infant he was
entertained by just watching my daughter play which again took some
pressure off me and gave me more spare time  (she is now working on toilet
training him!).  Since my daughter now has a built in playmate, I don't
have to worry about taking a lot of time to fix her up with playdates to
keep her from getting lonely - so again I have more time.  This may all
change when they are older, but right now I think life is easier than it
was back when we had just one 2 year old.  I also think my kids benefit
>From the social adjustments involved with having a sibling (learning to
share;learning to allow for their differences in skills).
	The only drawback was being pregnant with a 2 year old around.  I
was also working full time at a new job, so I got very little rest and had
nausea and fatigue through most of the pregnancy.  On the other hand, I had
less time to sit around and wonder if the pregnancy was OK, so I was less
stressed about it.
	Good luck with your decision Linden,
Caroline






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