best time, etc.

Deirdre Sholto-Douglas finch at MCS.COM
Fri Jun 26 11:33:13 EST 1998


In bionet.women-in-bio linden higgins <linden at mail.utexas.edu> wrote:
: A related question:  as my clock ticks along, we are confronting the
: question of "1 or 2?" 
[...]
: Any thoughts?  I'm sure that two are not as easy as one, but are 2 twice
: the work?

I should think it would depend upon the personality of the child
as to the amount of work inherent.  Granted, Son Number 1 was 16
when Miss Blown Birth Control Statistic appeared on the scene, so
my experience, despite having two forms of mobile recombinant DNA
underfoot, actually is closer to two families rather than 2 kids.

(One can almost develop multiple personalities under those 
circumstances, while you're cautioning the first about your fenders
and insurance rates, you're simultaneously trying to convince the
other not to share her popsicle with the dog.)

Nonetheless, I have a friend who has two at a more reasonable
interval and someone stacked the deck when she conceived Number
2.  Her first is retiring, quiet and fairly easy to get along
with, albeit quite shy, whereas her second is a risk-taking 
daredevil who would think nothing of trying to 'fly' off the shed
roof.  Given that she is (quite literally) continually pulled
in two directions, she has often told me she "should have 
stopped at one."

By the same token, I know another woman with two, three years 
apart, who regards two as only slightly more work than one.
It's worth noting that this latter pair have similar personalities
and tend to pull in tandem.  

Me?  I *tried* to stop at one, but I'd not trade our Bonus
Award for anything.  Admittedly, she's pretty laid back (whereas
the first little cuss was a cantankerous so-and-so) so I imagine
my experience is coloured by my obvious relief at not having
Colic - The Sequel, with which to contend.  

How much do you feel up to?  If you end up in a situtation with
two with noticeably different temperaments, how equipped do you
feel to cope?  Sadly, an easy go-'round with the first guarantees
nothing. (That pesky probability of independent events rears its
head at times when you would really *like* to believe in "Gambler's
fallacy.")  If the situation is such that there are large demands
(and vastly different ones) placed on you, do you feel competent
to switch gears continually?  (My answer to that was "No." for-
tunantly I lucked out when my hand was forced.)

I wish you the best...

Deirdre

-- 
| Deirdre Sholto-Douglas      | e-mail:  finch at mcs.com               |
|                             |                                      |
  *******  The only acceptable substitute for intelligence  *******
                            is silence.




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