denise at summerlin.net
Thu Apr 22 08:44:38 EST 1999
Well, Amy you wrote about a lot of conflicting feelings and problems. My first
advice is to lodge a formal complaint against your employer and then quit
anyway. It is NEVER worth the money to make yourself miserable. And certainly
not worth it to make yourself physically sick.
>Then, I went back to school at UNF for 1 and a half years. The brilliance is
>gone! Did I lose a tremendous amount of brain cells in the military? Did
>they beat the motivation/ambition out of me? I'm not the same student that I
>was six years ago. I started at UNF with a 4.0 and ended with a 2.53 GPA.
Second piece of advice, continuing to finish your bachelor's is a stellar idea.
Cut yourself a break, the lower undergrad classes are easier to get A's in and
the upper level stuff is much more challenging. I worked my a** off to get a
3.9 gpa as an undergrad and not a single future employer (in research science)
ever asked for my transcripts. My conclusion, would be that the personal
recommendations are much more important. Go to the herpatology department and
see if you can get a work study (and get paid) or an independent study (and get
an A credit for 3 hours) to do the work that you think you love. Then you will
have a relationship with a professional who can help your career. It is also
big incentive. I worked in a biochem lab as an undergrad, the exposure to real
science was a big motivator through those boring, memorize-the-book, kind of
course work you HAVE to finish to get the diploma.
Amy also wrote:
>I took last semester off because I got married (added stress with the
>wedding and all) and I didn't want to waste my G. I. Bill money on such poor
>achievement. I want to have a baby before I turn 30.
One last piece of advice about child-rearing. You don't need to have a child
before 30, and the committment after a child is born is much greater than
anything you can imagine right now. It is a 24hr a day, seven day a week
job!!!. If you and your hubby just got married give yourselves some time (3-7
yrs) to play with each other, get comfortable with each other and settle in
before you add the responsibility and financial drain of a child. I also did
this and I look at where I am now, compared to the mom's 5-7 years younger than
me, and I am so happy that Joe and I had the time to be just the two of us. You
can also use the time to finish your degree, shop for a job you love and that is
not dangerous to your health, and maybe save some money to play with after baby
arrives. Then with a good employer you will be in a position to take a nice
maternity leave which is good for you and baby.
This is my advice. I did these things and I chose to work four years after
finishing my undergrad degree before going back for a PhD. Strictly because I
was so burnt out on school therefore, my rut was twice as long as yours! :)
Don't be afraid. If it is what you really want, you can do it. You can have it
all. Though I will say that my definition of "having it all " has changed a lot
in the last 15 years. Different things are important to me now....
Good luck, Denise Signorelli PhD
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