Abuse

Mary Ann Sesma msesma at bell.k12.ca.us
Sat Aug 21 16:30:00 EST 1999


Susan and Karen:

For Karen:  Congratulations on the coming baby--
For Susan:  You do so much for all of us, Thanks.

You both are correct.  Some things that I can reveal to you without
being  personal or identifying women who are currently using the list.

1. I am somewhat of the elder of the group, (70,  a 50th wedding
anniversary and somewhat semi retired)  because of these  factors I
guess I am somewhat less threatening.  The result is that I have served
as a "mentor" or something  like that to several women on the list who
use me to bounce off needs, concerns and issues that do not seem to have
been brought to the forefront  of discussion.  These discussions have
been private.

2. These items are exactly what Karen and Susan are talking about--To
identify a few issues
        personal finance needs, ( young ones have terrible times with
the miserable salaries, the extensivestudent loans)  and how to live on
a pittance,
        reproductive concerns--how did I raise children, what did I do
regarding sitters,
        the need to care for elderly parents
        and the overwhelming urgency to have a LIFE which involves all
the usual things that are both
        joyous and sad.

3. Yes, I have celebrated many years of life.  I have a great spouse,
with whom I starved through grad school,   three children, all over
forty, with three grandchildren..  I can  tell you that we celebrate
extensively on Christmas Eve, Fourth of July, and some other minor
holidays.  I cook, my husband cooks, and our guests dine (not eat). 
Children fall into the swmmming pool, are dragged out soggy, and we have
had wakes for our parents.  I have gone through several life threatening
illnesses which were devestating but I had no option to give up.  I
trade recipes with a gifted male chemist and am miserable at wrapping
Christmas presents.  We love our giant dog and one cat.  This is the
beat of life which ultimately enhances  and adds the richness to our
achievements so it behooves us to celebrate.

4. Yes, I believe that I have accomplished much, but I have to put the
accomplishments in perspective and move on.  Ultimately I HAVE HAD A
WONDERFUL LIFE, enjoyed every morsel and will continue.  So just for
starters we are going to the Sahara this month, this is another
adventure.    YES, I did have to participate in several class action
suits to advance my career.  I have threatened men (or so they
perceived) but I was the big boss.

5. BTW:  I do have trouble sleeping so I just get up and do something: 
OH yes, more than one teen aged daughter has been caught coming in late
as I was mopping the floor with the lights out.  Guess she could not see
the cigarette hanging out of my mouth.   In the "beloved season of
grants" the computer goes non stop--well at least it is better than the
typewriter.

5. So wake up and smell the roses dear friends.  Enjoy the elegance of
your existence and take time to lick your wounds.

Mary Ann Sesma
msesma at bell,k12.ca.us
 





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