> Mary Ann wrote:
>>>The best child care is done in the home. I spent about 50-60% of my
>>income to have a wonderful provider come into the home. My daughters
>do
>>the same and they are your age. It is a major relief for working
>mothers
>>however there must be income. But in home child care diminishes the
>>illnesses.
>>I have to disagree with Mary Ann's assesment that the "best" childcare
>is in
>the home. I had excellent experiences with high-quality day care
>centers
>staffed by professionals. It, too, is expensive but many of these
>people
>receive higher education degrees in child development and related
>fields. I
>was also not directly responsible for their social security, health
>insurance,
>etc. like one would be if hiring someone full time into your home.
>And, most
>importantly for me, there was a staff of many people and this provides
>for
>checks and balances. I was not dependent on placing my trust in a
>single
>person. For very small children who may not be able to vocalize what
>goes on
>during the day, this was important to me. My children are now well
>into their
>school years and (so far!) appear happy and well adjusted. Both of
>them are
>particularly good with their social skills and I credit our good day
>care
>center for these. As far as illness goes, I think they get it young, in
>day
>care, or they get it when then enter the public school system.
>>>>______________________________________________
>Jennifer Loros
>Department of Biochemistry
>Dartmouth Medical School
>email: jennifer.loros at dartmouth.edu
I have to agree with Jennifer. Not only is the whole social
security/workman's comp/insurance hassle of having someone do daycare in
your home a nightmare, but the reliance on one person can add to the
stress. My children (who are now in high school and college and require
a different kind of worrying!) at one point had a wonderful daycare
arrangement in which they were cared for after pre-school or
kindergarten by the woman next door in her home (she had 3 or her own
the same ages as well, and was a saint). Although this was a great
situation for the kids (it was like playing at a friend's house after
school), not only did I have to worry about alternate plans when my kids
were sick, but I had to cover when hers were sick, when she was sick,
when she went out of town, etc. These things aren't a problem in larger
daycare (but there are other problems-see below). Worst story I know-a
friend of mine showed up one morning to drop her 2 children under 3
years old at the woman's house who had cared for them for 2 years.
Everything had been fine, the kids loved her, she was nice, the
financial arrangement was good-she felt it was the ideal situation. The
husband of the provider greeted my friend at the door to say his wife
had had a nervous breakdown and wouldn't be doing daycare anymore. My
friend and her husband collectively missed 2 weeks of work (they traded
back and forth) while trying to arrange new daycare, but they felt they
could hardly be upset at the woman who took care of the kids, either!
The big problem with good daycare centers is that, even if you can
afford them (and grad students certainly can't), there's often a long
waiting list for a space. The government lab I worked at in the 1980s
considered building a daycare center. The initial plans called for 35
spaces. When over 500 parents applied for more than 500 spaces, they
realized daycare was a problem. But not only did they not make the
center larger, they didn't even build it because it got bagged down in
questions of how the spaces would be allocated and whether you could get
on the waiting list before you conceived.
As long as this is the status of daycare in the US, it's THE issue
keeping women from advancing IMHO. I say this because the number of
women who give up and stay home to be the daycare provider when faced
with some of the above situations far outweighs the number of men who
do. Is it societal pressure? You bet! Complain about daycare and
you'll get one of 2 responses (1) sympathy from those who have the
same situation, and (2) amazement followed by "If it's so bad, why don't
you just stay home like I did/my wife did?". And if you stick it out
despite the stress, your kids will turn out just fine (at least mine
have so far) but a good portion of your energy will go into worrying
about who's going to be taking care of Johnny/Susie tommorrow, how are
you going to get them there/pick them up, etc, while your collegue with
the stay at home wife has this energy to devote to science.
Here at A&M the vice chair of the biology department told me daycare is
not an issue, especially for scientist (this came up in a ranting
session about why he thinks a university with 45,000 students has no
need for a daycare center for either students or faculty). According to
him, good daycare is easy to find. Since he has a stay at home wife who
hasn't worked since before their first child, I'm not sure how he knows
it's so easy!
Julie,
who didn't realize till she started responding just how strongly she
feels about good daycare!
*****************************************************
Julia Frugoli
Dartmouth College
visiting grad student at
Texas A&M University
Department of Biological Sciences
College Station, TX 77843
409-845-0663
FAX 409-847-8805
"Evil is best defined as militant ignorance."
Dr. M. Scott Peck*****************************************************
